Recent study conducted by YouthSight [...]
Nice guys deserve to finish last
So you can go on any popular dating website and in the forum section, guaranteed to be in the top 10 posts, you will find something along the lines of “Women ALWAYS overlook me to go for arseholes.” “I’m ALWAYS getting rejected because I’m too nice.” “EVERY women I’ve ever had a crush on has put me in the friend-zone.”
The content of these all have a pattern, guy pours his heart out anonymously to strangers of the same ilk on a forum about how he chased this girl for 6 months and tried multiple times to “get her”, forum members give him a virtual high five and pat on the back, reinforcing his current beliefs that girls only go for arseholes or just want nice guys as friends.
In the plea for help and advice, the guy will list all of these nice things he did for her; gifts, taking her to places she loves and paying for the trip, dying her hair, being that shoulder she cries on when her boyfriend splits up with her and even looking after her sick pet while she goes on a date.
So essentially there’s nothing wrong with doing these things, and you would probably be prepared to do some of them for anyone close to you. But the flaw is, the nice guy expects something in return, and what he expects is intimate affection i.e. sex. The amazing game face these guys put on is phenomenal, it’s an Oscar worthy act of pretending to want nothing, but actually wanting everything.
So how does the story end? Well the ‘nice guy’ will do a number of things for the girl of his desire before finally getting hurt and acting out. What will happen then is the cold shoulder…
She’ll start dating some guy that doesn’t need cleaning up a bit, or to lose weight and isn’t short and bald. Suddenly the ‘nice guy’ will reject all her advances to spend time together, like watching a film at home when she doesn’t really feel like going out but wants company.
Eventually after calling him out on his behaviour and simply asking “why?” She’s met with a barrage of abuse, hearing the words “slut” “whore” “bitch” over and over again, to only her dismay.
…Why would a friend do this to you? Exactly that, he was never your friend. You see, a nice guy isn’t nice, and never was. He wasn’t your friend. He didn’t even like you. He was just a guy trying to get in your pants. But the reality is that he never stated his actual intentions and if you never make your intentions clear, you can’t complain that the girl of your dreams didn’t read your mind. If she views you as just a friend, she may think you view her that way too. After all, you say you’re her friend, right?
Weeks or months will pass and she may wonder what happened to ‘that nice guy’, she may even remember the verbal bust up but could kindly put it down as a one-off because he was usually so nice…
Well that nice guy, he hates you now, had he really been your friend he would value the emotional connection you shared, the quality time you spent together and the new experiences you embraced. But nice guys don’t really think like that, they view you as an object, interchangeable with any other woman out there.Tweet Share3
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