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September, 18, 2013

Who’s Better: One Direction or Nirvana?

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Name: Jonny Elswood
Member of: Student Panellist
Joined: Aug 13
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On New Year’s Day 1989, four musicians signed a contract with independent label Sub Pop Records in Seattle. They were Chad Channing, Jason Everman, “Chris” Novoselic and Kurt Cobain. They would later change label, lose two of their number and take a gamble by assimilating a new drummer, Dave Grohl, the rest being history…

That contract, published online for the first time a few weeks back, was worth $600 (equivalent to just over $1,000 in today’s currency), and required the group to produce a full length album in one year. The album that resulted was named Bleach after an AIDS awareness poster slogan that encouraged needle-users to sterilise their equipment. Bleach has sold 1.7 million copies in the United States and around the same amount globally. Let’s round that down to 3 million. In twenty-four years. I’m also guessing that Cobain’s suicide in 1994 added a few to the pile.

Nirvana

Photo by José Luis Merizalde

In 2011, Topman-encased super-cute boy band One Direction signed a record deal with Simon Cowell’s Sony subsidiary label Syco. It had similar terms to Nirvana’s, but this was worth £2,000,000. Following a third-place running in X Factor, their debut album was bound to be a chart success, and we all know it was. In fact that album alone has sold 4.5 million units so far, and has topped music charts in sixteen countries. In two years. And not even one member of 1D has plastered the tabloids with a self-inflicted shotgun wound to the head.

Nirvana

Photo by Hinde Ben

Now, before we get down to the heavy duty accounting, let’s take a very quick look at the subject material juxtaposition between Bleach and Up All Night. The former, a grunge album containing nothing more than the work of the aforementioned foursome, is extremely dark. It consists of trade mark psychotic, chaotic riffs and drumming, and lyrically it’s about as heart-warming as a hospital’s aortic transplant freezer. Cobain claimed it was a critique of the corporate music world, but that dimension isn’t very apparent; the track in question contains three lines, repeated for three minutes. It’s headbanging perfection, though.

Nirvana

Photo by Experiment 33

Headbanging isn’t a strong point of Up All Night (and by that title, the band probably mean Up Past Twelve). Musically, the whole pop album is a myriad of clap-tracks, catchy light-electric chord sequences and textbook drumming. It might not be genius, but it permeates every part of your brain, so much so that even hating it is difficult when you’ve got Na Na Na stuck in your head. Overall subject material includes: overcoming self esteem issues, heartbreak, innocent lust. Perhaps due to their time-consuming Microphone Holding Techniques sessions, the team of seventeen writers hired for the album included none of the band’s members. Estimated total weight of hair gel used for album cover photo shoot: eight tonnes.

Nirvana

Photo by Hinde Ben

So get off your ath let’s do some math. Math math math math maaaath.

  1. Nirvana’s Bleach has sold 3 million units in 24 years, originally for $1,000. Units sold per year per dollar invested = 125.
  2. One Direction’s Up All Night has sold 4.5 million units in 2 years, originally for £2,000,000 (roughly $3,117,400) . If that rate of sale stays the same until Up All Night has been available for 24 years, it’ll be 54 million units in 24 years. In that case, units sold per year per dollar invested = 1.125
  3. Meaning, for every dollar put into each band at the very start of their respective careers, Nirvana managed to shift 125 units per year, and One Direction a measly 1.125
  4. 125 divided by 1.125 = 111.1

In summary, Nirvana are one hundred and eleven point one times better than One Direction. In the end, it turns out that people would rather listen to an hour of suicidal mania about drugs, sex and death than an hour of bought lyrics about a love interest that never existed. Substantially so.

Because that’s what success is all about. Cash in hand.

And I don’t just mean music, I mean life.

Right guys?

Nirvana

Photo by matiasaros.com

PS – I’m not an economist.

PPS – factors ignored: difference in methods of music purchase between 1989 and 2011; price of television appearances of both bands; the likely death(s) of one or more of One Direction in the next 22 years.

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28 Comments

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  1. Paul Darlow

    There is no doubt Nirvana had 100% more influence on the music industry than one direction. The main difference is Nirvana wrote and played there own music where as one direction sing karaoke songs.
    Simon Cowell and X Factor has destroyed the music industry and changed the concept of forming a band and making music for the love of it to basically wanting to get on TV and smiling alot. The music industry would be alot better off with out X factor style music.

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  2. luke link

    Neither. Both are just as irritating in their own rights.

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  3. Lauren Priestley

    Nirvana 100% no doubt about it!

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  4. Shorifa Begum

    Nirvana! They were so real it killed one of them. Whereas with one direction, they’re a manufactured pop with no substance. Mania over their producers spoon fed stuff any day.

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  5. Thomas Marsh

    Nirvana by a mile! There a band that I grew up with through my life so far. They worked so hard to get to where they were, They made history they made a part of evolution in music, As for one direction yes they have their own day of the year now which I find highly unamused by but Nirvana have Kurt Cobain’s anniversary every year also and to do with music they just steal others put it this way with One Direction song – Midnight Memories had the same key and rift as a Death Leopard song and One Direction tried to sew death leopard for a song they real released years before they got together and obviously One Direction did not win they copy other people’s music and change the lyrics that for me isn’t talent. It’s Plagiarism in a un-noticed way

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  6. Sofia Hill

    Nirvana by a clear mile! They worked tirelessly for their fame and like Dave Grohl has said, they didn’t expect their music to become famous they were just a bunch of guys jamming in their garages. Whereas 1D searched for their fame through a competition, Nirvana’s fame was through their sheer talent and dedication. Nirvana.

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  7. Meghan Hartrick

    one direction are mainly about the merchandise its a lot easier to earn more and be more popular through merchandise attracting teenage girls to listen to them

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  8. Rebecca Rees

    I’m more towards One Direction myself.

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  9. Rachel Haxton

    Nirvana were brought together in a time where it was harder to get “platnum” album status and harder to reach number one, and the band members themselves were more creative with their image and sound. One Direction, however, were brought together in a time when it became easy for anyone to produce 1 song and have it sky rocket the group to fame in a heart beat. Nirvana worked for their glory and timelessness. One Direction has not.

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  10. Libby Durose

    Not even hard to answer, Nirvana.

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  11. kirsty gardiner

    Deffinetly nirvana

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  12. Stephanie Bushby

    Nirvana. They wrote their own music and their lyrics are a lot more interesting. I think the only reason one direction are so popular is because teenage girls find them attractive.

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  13. arthur caulfield

    nirvana created their own genre of music whereas one direction have jumped on the “pretty boy band” wagon, yes they are both artists with large fan basses, but one direction only have a fan base because people write songs for them (therefor they are metaphorical parrots, chirping away with other peoples words). This “parrot syndrome” that one direction seem to have contracted is one of the most forward reasons nirvana are a better band, the sound of the instruments, the sound of the voices, they are both an opinion based argument so cannot be won overall, but the fact nirvana had songs written by nirvana, to express kurt, dave and krist. One direction are squawking opinions of others without understanding or reasoning.

    All in all, nirvana are better artists, because they are artists, not primary 1 students with paint and sponges.

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  14. Rachael Lloyd

    Nirvana all the way.

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  15. Dylan Hanner

    Both bands create music that people want to listen to. But Nirvana actually tackled issues that matter so Nirvana all the way.

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    • arthur caulfield

      I agree, but just to inform you, one direction do not create music, they simply play it, saying they create music is like saying marcus collins created seven nation army.
      Not arguing, just pointing out.

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  16. kristina urbanaite

    definitely Nirvana

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  17. Jasmine Rider

    I’m going for One Direction because they depict a light-hearted side of life

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    • Arthur Caulfield

      Nirvana-Son Of A Gun

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  18. Valentina Traettino

    Nirvana

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  19. Sebastian Kettley

    The reason why 1D sold so well, is because the album was tailored to be so sold int he millions. Not made to be good music. Just made to sell.

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  20. kim hargreaves

    Nirvana!

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  21. Fabian Ziegler

    Nirvana!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  22. Matthew Willis

    Respect to 1D for their lifestyle (I’m jealous) but they lack the sheer musical talent of Nirvana (…and I’m not even a proper Nirvanan fan!)

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  23. Julline L

    I don’t care that I didn’t go out, tonight – my Friday night was well spent, reading this. Really funny, keep writing :D

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  24. Paul Burney

    It’s more because Nirvana put thought and depth into their songs (which are about so much more than drugs, sex and death – that makes them sound like a stereotype metal band) and provided a type of music that was accessible to the majority of people, but at the same time had enough substance to fascinate and satisfy people looking for more than just catchy tunes. One Direction can only manage the former (and need a load of people to help them with that alone).

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    • Jonny

      I hope the slightly less serious tone of the article makes it clear that the statements within it are purposely flippant – of course Nirvana’s songs are about much more. But I reduced it to drugs, sex and death so as to contrast it with One Direction’s lyrics. Nirvana have just been nominated for entry to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Hope you vote for them as I have.

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    • arthur caulfield

      Sorry, not arguing, just educating, nirvana are a grunge band, they could be classed as metal i suppose but to be fair they are the reason the grunge scene became large and without them there really wouldn’t have been a grunge scene at all. Simply put, nirvana aren’t metal, they are the owners of grunge.

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