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February, 25, 2014

It’s inevitable; we’re all turning into our Mothers

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Name: Laura Bull
Member of: Applicant Panellist
Joined: February, 2014
Laura's Full Profile

One weekend whilst visiting my boyfriend I came to the epiphany that we all turn out like our mothers. It seems to be as inevitable as dying.

This came about after I had spent near enough, the entire weekend nagging him to dust his room. For the record, I had written my name in the dust and my finger was black afterwards. To stop making a mess of the bed I had just made (and numerous other things which I wont mention as the list would go on forever…) is when it hit me…I sounded just like my mother. This epiphany made me wince and recoil at first and left me feeling slightly nauseated with the knowledge that no matter how hard I tried not to, I acted and sounded just like my mother. I came to ask myself the question of; is it possible for me to avoid this, or is it genetically inside of me to be a reincarnation of my mother?

A classic mother-daughter moment

From here onward, things exclusively became worse. After getting ready to go out one evening, I went down stairs to be met by a smile off my mother. You’re probably thinking what is wrong with that? Truth be told everything that could have been wrong was indeed wrong. The smile my mother was giving me wasn’t one of those; ‘hello in passing’ kind of smiles, no. The smile my mother was giving me was one of those; ‘I remember dressing like that when I was your age’, kind of smile. Obviously, after knowing this I went straight back upstairs to change into an outfit which I knew would definitely not make me resemble my mother in anyway shape or form.

Photo By Marimoon

But as the night grew on and my feet began to hurt, I began to wish I had stuck with the kitten heels – as my mother wore when she was my age, rather than the stupid six inches I had on. Several hours later, having two extremely numb feet, I came to the conclusion that it isn’t so horrible or as devastating as I make it seem that I am in essence, my mother reincarnated. In fact, I would be rather worried if I was not just like my mother as she is after all, the woman who went through nine months pregnancy of me kicking her from the inside out, a painful birth, to then have ended up with me; a pain in the ass for the past nineteen years.

After this thought, I came to the revelation of simply embracing who and what I am. I am my mothers daughter and I would not change this for anything in the world. She is the strong, independent, courageous, caring and beautiful woman who has raised me to be who I am today. So, from this day henceforth, I stopped avoiding the inevitable and instead embraced it. With my first move of embrace being not that of a hug, but rather an embrace of my mothers nice dresses being on me and not her.

Photo By 藍川芥 aikawake

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16 Comments

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  1. Jo Jones

    Interesting article, I used to believe the same, what I found was as I get mmmm ‘maturer’ (believe that’s the term for us older students)…. I am actually by nature the combined reincarnation of my grandmothers with both their good points… I wasted far too much time in nurture trying to be the antipathy of my lil mum. Now she is 75 (told you I was mature student!). We made our peace, laugh as women, love my children, she is enormously proud of my courageous decision as she calls it, keeps me focused when life seems tough… She isn’t my best friend she is my mum… and even though she us battling cancer fir third time in 17 years… she is an inspiration to me and my clan… and no I never did really learn ti be as tidy as she thought… now we agree to differ in my organised chaos…. Just a personal view…. :)

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    • Jyoti

      Really lovely comment Jo, thanks for sharing :)

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  2. Rose

    Pretty cool. Lolest! I Moms are the most important pieces of our lives and we should love and respect them always.

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  3. Fiona Fox

    I kind of agree with this, growing up you start to develop traits and characteristics similair to your parents. Learnt behaviours. You can of course deviate from this with much effort but there will always be little things you do that your mother did.

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  4. Juwairia Yunus

    this is crap, i mean naturally you will resemble your mother, and naturally you will be nurtured to behave a little like them but it doesn’t mean that your an incarnation of your mother, if you want to be like your mother than you can but you have a choice.

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  5. Amber

    That is a load of rubbish … people turn into who they were born to be and although families can inspire us to behave in a certain way it doesn’t mean we will grow up to be like them! I for one am nothing like my mum as he is timid, shy and unsociable whereas I am sociable, loud and opinionated. Although the funny thing is we do look VERY alike! So we are NOT all turning into our mothers

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  6. Alex Tomley

    This is true, but it’s likely that people start resembling their parents because they pick up on their traits. As you grow up, you become more mature and sometimes it’s easier to go down a certain route than make life difficult for yourself. This is usually a similar route to your parents because they had to learn the exact same things as you are doing now. It also depends on how much of a role model your parents have been. Some people become the opposites of their mother because they don’t agree with the lifestyle they lead. It’s learning from the mistakes of your parents. If something works out well for your parents then usually it’ll work out for you, so we usually follow in their footsteps. It’s just a part of growing up.

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  7. Amina Moussa

    If I was turning into my mother, I think I would begin to worry slightly. My mother has this canny ability to get me to do everything under the sun and back – and she doesn’t even have to speak; she’s got a real superpower. I think I just want the independence and strength that she shows all the time. So, I guess I wouldn’t be as worried, after all she did lose about two years of me first kicking inside her then waking her up in the middle of the night…

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  8. Mathew Birks

    It is true but that is only because as life goes on, you become more mature and realise the tings that we used to rebel against like wearing a fluffy coat just seem futile.

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  9. Abdul Moheez

    not really it’s just the process of aging and maturing…

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  10. Jade Champagnie

    OMG that is my life…

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    • Laura Shannon Bull

      Good Afternoon Jade, I am glad to hear that I am not the only one who is just like their mother!

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  11. Poppy Damazer

    Ditto. I love my Mum, but often find it hard to say it. I appreciated this properly for the first time a few years ago when out of the blue she said “My three children are my greatest achievement in life.” Like all mothers she has given up so much for me and although I don’t always show it I am very grateful. She has achieved some incredible things and to become the next her would be an honor and privilege.

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    • Laura Shannon Bull

      Hello Poppy, I myself am still quite young but I do believe that it is difficult to let our mothers know just how much we do appreciate them. No matter how many Birthday, Christmas or Mother Day cards we give them or presents we agonisingly scrutinise over as to which one is just right for your mother, it will never be enough to let her know just how grateful you are to her, as she is, at the end of the day, the woman who brought you into this world and has loved and cared for you since!

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  12. Jan Lloyd

    I agree with you entirely. I have four children and very often say thing to them, that I remember my mother saying to me, without realising. thing we all need to remember is that our mothers were our age once and yes they did silly things we don’t know about and yes they used to dress the way we may dress and maybe even dressed worse. I love my mother to pieces and would be very proud if someone told me that I am just like her.

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    • Laura Shannon Bull

      Hello Jan, I am happy to hear that you by the sounds of it, not only agreed with what I wrote but also enjoyed it too! I myself, do not have any children, so I guess I have that part of me acting like my mother to look forward to even more but I’m pretty sure we are all like our mothers as it’s ‘as inevitable as dying’!

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