Freshers…some are clothed but most are bare

Ben Roberts

Name:Ben Roberts
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Joined: Feb 2010
Occupation: Studying Theological at The University of Cumbria
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“Freshers Freshers everywhere, some are clothed but most are bare
Children of the night they are, with origins from field afar
Happiest in costume and in the nightclub shouting ’tuunnneee!’
And then they meet the morning after, at the local greasy spoon”

As a second year now, being a Fresher already seems like a hazy memory. Those first tense but excitable moments as you arrive at University, your whole life seemingly squeezed into the back of a car. Meeting your new house/flat mates with nervous greetings and getting nervous replies in accents you’ve never had to decipher before. Geordie, Brummie, Mancunian, Cockney, Scouse, Irish, Scottish, Welsh, you name it! At first this eclectic mix of regional tones can sound confusing, and the thought of walking into a pub with these new acquaintances can seem like an old joke but you all soon blend together. That is until someone gets upset or drunk, or both. And then those funny sounds and different slang terms all come flooding back as if carried by the pints of cheap beer.

Different accents will often crop up when meeting new people at University. But nothing will divide you and your peers more or highlight the north-south divide, than the pronunciation of that classic afternoon tea confection, the scone. Is it scone as in ‘throne’? Or is it scone as in ‘one’? The answer is, of course, scone as in ‘one’, but don’t let this divide you, unless of course you take your pronunciation and confectionaries very seriously (which you should).

Now don’t worry if your new house/flat mates seem slightly…different. Everyone has weird habits and it will seem like you have been placed with several of the weirdest. But fear not, one of my own flat mates unashamedly likes to clean their hands with a certain all-purpose cleaning product that promises to kill 99.9% of bacteria. Another likes to eat cold bake beans straight from the tin and one likes to wear Old Russian gas masks in the dark. And despite all this they are all really good friends.

As well as witnessing all those strange habits during your time as a Fresher you might also encounter the certain types of Fresher. First is ‘The Boss’ – they like to organize group meetings and inform you of the do’s and don’ts of communal living. Then there’s ‘The Lad’, who is an ultra-masculine character who is on the pull every night – the extent of their conversation is on the recent football and rugby scores, but you sense this might all be to cover up insecurities about their sexuality. ‘The Blonde’, paradoxically isn’t always blonde, and isn’t always female either, but will have the looks of a model, the personality of a coat hanger and won’t know how a washing machine works, even after you show them. Then there is ‘The Ghost’.  You won’t meet this person straight away, but you will hear them in the dead of night. Things will get moved about and you won’t know who or what moved them but it’s the Ghost.

The Freshers period can be exciting, scary, exuberant and stressful. It’s a rite of passage, a chance to meet the best friends of your life, the first time to experience true freedom, which seems to come in the form of heavy drinking, hung-over lectures and avoiding the obligatory STIs. And although you may wake up some mornings wondering what the hell happened, or why you have seven traffic cones in your room, Freshers isn’t all about student stereotypes. You’re at University, so you’ve worked damn hard at your A-levels, which by the way you will have found harder than university will ever be. You want to do well, to fulfill your dreams and perhaps fulfill your parent’s dreams, so no pressure then! But you do want to have fun, and you should grasp these opportunities with both hands, the trick is, knowing when to let go.

I must admit now however that being woken by Freshers in the street at 4 AM last week didn’t put me in the best of moods. But I soon remembered that ‘Freshers Feeling’, and although the naivety and often blank faces lost in the library can be annoying, they can also be charming. At the end of the day Freshers is to be enjoyed and if you survive, you’re probably stronger for it (or an educated alcoholic). The memories and lessons gained during Freshers will help keep off the urge to be crushed under library stacks when writing seemingly endless essays. It is a rite of passage to be tolerated by you and those around you and if we are all honest, one that should be experienced by more than the currently ever dwindling privileged few of us that get to go to university.