For centuries a social phenomenon has existed whereby all humans within a set culture must wear similar, usually uncomfortable, clothing. Now, with globalisation sprawling across the Earth like an unforgiving tumour, the “within the set culture” clause is pretty much obsolete. It’s got to the stage that pretty much everyone in the world, with only the exception of those who choose to cut themselves off from the global society, follows a similar style of clothing to each other.
I despise this.
Firstly, people normally cite clothes as a form of self-representation: a way to express individuality, but the very idea of ‘fashion’ goes against that. At this very moment individuality is claimed to be the main driving force for fashion, but it just makes it all a bit boring and same-y.
I’ll admit, I attempt to buy clothes that others would class as reasonably stylish, but only so I can leave the house without people decrying me as a hideous monster before they’ve even got a chance to meet me.
But my attempts are always thwarted by the ever-changing nature of what is acceptable to wear. When chinos first came back into fashion I thought to myself “thank god, something that’s actually comfortable”. Now, while I know they are still regarded as ‘stylish’ there are also many people who will judge those who wear them simply because they are regarded as ‘stylish’.
And for god’s sake, why are fashionable clothes normally incredibly uncomfortable? Like pointy shoes, they don’t even look normal. They make it look as if you are a gnome. A hideously oversized gnome.
Of course, it’s not just clothes. Hairstyles often present me with a big problem (mostly because of my slightly oddly shaped head and the bristly texture of my hair). Whoever thought of the concept of restyling hair every so often must have been a madman. A sadistic madman. It takes time, effort and money and most of the gunk sold to the public as “hair beautifying cream” feels disgusting and attracts insects.
Then of course there’s the fact that I’m male and therefore am not allowed to care about how I look. Well I’m sorry, but I do. I don’t want to look like a hairy, grunting freak, and I’m sure the majority of people don’t want a whole 49% of the population looking like that either.
Mind you, they probably would if vogue said so.