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Articles > Relationships March, 17, 2014

I Hate Lads And Everything They Stand For

Gregor McCann
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I hate lads. When I use the word ‘lad’, I mean any male who thinks degrading women is, under any circumstances, funny.  Lads are impotent, pathetic, wormy, unfunny, insecure, petty, spiteful, ugly, stupid creatures incapable of wit or intelligence of any kind. They’re moronic caricatures of real people.

There is something broken in our culture. There is a sub-species that roams the land – a Neanderthal-esque vestigial of life, that focuses only upon reducing women to a collection of parts. These ‘lads’ think they’re funny, witty, cool – but they’re not. They’re morons. Of course, they’re part of a larger problem (rampant, ingrained, intrinsic sexism), but I need a target. So, since they’re the most ubiquitous and obnoxious culprits… I choose them.

Photo By CharlesFred

Photo By CharlesFred

Lads are awful with women. They’ll hate this statement and I can almost hear them now, rustling their score-sheets, readying their best one-night-stand story, puffing up their over-bench-pressed chests and clenching their malformed fists. But it’s the truth – lads are awful with women because they’ve never realised that women are people. It seems obvious, but to them it isn’t. Women to them are vacuous shells and only good for one thing. That’s one very important thing to realise about this emerging species. They’re chronic dehumanisers. To them, women are locked in a constant state of lust ready at any moment. Whether it’s on the street, when being heckled in a club, when being groped in a toilet or when being raped… just to fulfil their needs.

On the other hand, lads love power. Because of their almost crippling insecurities and lack of self-worth, they feel it’s necessary to grab power at any opportunity. Oh look, there’s a girl . . . I’ve never met her . . . she doesn’t know me, but . . . if I shout at her I may feel powerful and manly. They are so obsessed with a man-woman representation of the world that they feel obliged to affirm their masculinity by degrading females. “They bad, we good,” they slur as they sit around their primeval campfire. And while this happens, we all just sit, staring absently into space because the ‘lads’ have descended – it’s war time, and we don’t want to fight.

Imagine a world: a woman wakes up, has a shower, brushes her teeth, doesn’t do her makeup, leaves the house in comfortable clothes and goes to work, university or college and magically, no one comments upon her appearance. No one degrades her for not wearing makeup, heels or a skirt and no one harasses her for sex. The fact that this seems so odd says much about the unequal state of gender relations. People who say ‘women are equal now’ are ignorant of the pervasive, pernicious sexualisation that often manifests itself, not in big, front-page-worthy stories, but in work and university place ‘banter’. (‘Banter’, is lad-code for being reprehensibly horrible and passing it off as humour.) It happens all the time. Honestly, just pay attention next time you encounter these strange beasts. The amount of ‘lads’ who think it’s acceptable and even funny to publicly sexualise women in front of their friends is astonishing. Banter is the antithesis of wit. Banter is a lazy person’s joke. Banter is, essentially, what unfunny morons use so they don’t have to think.

It’s safe to say I hate them. If this article is anything, it is a declaration of my hate. Obviously, I can’t hate them all, but anyone who even vaguely resembles the type of person I have been describing, and I’m not joking, I truly hate. They’re non-thinkers, conformers, sheep, bleating along in their pathetic herd, huddling up to the nearest pneumatic skull-head, readying themselves for the next innocent girl who walks past. “She’d get it . . . phwoar . . . yeah . . .” What exactly would she get? The disease that has swept across Britain turning innumerable young men into lobotomised, slathering harassers? I don’t think she wants it, mate.

 

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  1. Rachel Mcsharry

    i’ll just outright say that even in school girls are told how they should and shouldn’t dress, because it can distract boys ect. girls are being told how to dress because boys can’t control their sexual urges. When dogs can’t control their sexual urges they get their balls chopped off. (i think im onto something here)

    • Gregor McCann

      Though I agree with your point to some degree, I think it also has to be taken into account how boys are taught, by society and the media, to view girls. If they were taught that girls were not sex objects and therefore equal to them, girls may not have to cover up for fear of distracting boys. As it is, the consensus tells us that boys see girls as sex objects and girls are sex objects, so it seems ‘natural’ (which is odd, because it isn’t) for boys to behave this way. That’s why the comment ‘boys will be boys’ is said with such worrying regularity.

  2. John New

    As a male I concur that the pro-feminist view expressed has a lot to support it. Unfortunately the hedonistic lifestyle, of which this is just one aspect, is becoming more endemic and this out of control hedonism is not confined to males. It may be a male majority activity. but female groups participate too. A very old fashioned socialist view I know but the trend won’t reverse until the people making money out of promoting this modern hedonistic lifestyle find something else can make them a lot more money.

  3. Alex

    I see this sort of thing all the time.
    If you studied a large enough section of the population by sticking them all on an island, I can guarantee a ‘lad’ group will form, as well as the counter-“laddette” group. This is predictable animal behaviour. Study the animal kingdom and come to your own conclusions, but to me, this whole teenage dating game has just been one big mess of hormones and impulses that will likely be replaced by one-upmanship and whatever other mechanisms people use when they ‘grow up’ and learn how to use subtlety.
    One point though, almost every lad has a mother whom he respects and would be ashamed of doing this in front of- that’s likely part of some Freudian theories, but I think it goes without saying that these lads are simply full of s***, but will make an arse out of you if you are so stupid as to try to tell them this in their packs, as they are in their packs. I have visions of you arguing with a load of guys about girls and them thinking you’re just jealous.
    I love when adults pretend they have no idea about any of this. Wise up the lot of you, it’s opinion panel, not, be-so-aloof-that-you-apparently-aren’t-actually-a human-being panel.
    Observe the world around you and embrace reality.

  4. I'm old

    I thought I was the only one who felt this way. Love the passion in the article, and the fact that there is so much passion means the author has seen this behaviour way too many times, which for me is very sad.

    The responses are varied, one person blaming religion, or therein lack of, others stating that women are just as appalling as men…

    I am a woman in her forties, I went back to uni in my late 30s and I have received the email which led me to this article, i come at this from a different perspective, I see how some young men treat girls and if I am honest I want to slap that girl silly, you know that one that stands on the arm of the young man and let’s him treat her like an object, that girl that thinks having a boyfriend defines who she is, then there is that group of women who when they get together and have a few drinks can be just as demeaning to men as a group of men is to women, but men are supposed to laugh that off.. Why? why can’t a man say that they don’t like to be treated like that, ? Because we still live in a culture that views being abused by a woman akin to being bit by a chihuahua , you are a bit pathetic for whinging about it as what harm did it really cause , it’s only a chihuahua…no it’s not pathetic, at all… Women can be vile…

    However, I truly believe in the saying “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world,” to have a true mysogynistic outlook , I am sure it has been ingrained into these young men from a very young age, and I would question if their mothers let them believe that women are only for sex, and their fathers turned them into arrogant little sods who believe that any girl they bed should be grateful….

    Or maybe these are very young immature men who have just discovered their penis and have not yet discovered the value of themselves let alone a woman. WE live in a world where porn is easily accessed by anyone and people who start watching it a very young age can get a warped attitude towards sex, where people grow up in abusive environments where dad abuses mum, or mum abuses dad, where someone is abused as a child, where neglect happens and warped attitudes develop , where the only morals they are developing are ones where sex is the be all and end all, I don’t know , but what I do know , is that life will be pretty hard for them and everyone around them if they don’t grow up (or if I find them and give them a piece of my mind 😉 ….)

  5. Jen Hoffman

    You’ve gotta be looking at the wrong type of men then, sorry Gregor. Maybe you’ll run into mr. right one day like i did!

    • Gregor McCann

      I hope so. Mr. Left was always bumping into walls.

  6. Faye Millard

    “She’d get it . . . phwoar . . . yeah . . .” That’s just men being men. Women do it to, there are two sides to every thing. Me and my female friends if we see a male have often been found saying “I wouldn’t say no.”
    I’m a women and I’d say we’re equal. Personally for me I think men are better at the higher up jobs; women by nature are more emotional whereas men are more logical.
    I regularly go to college and work without make-up in comfortable clothes and I’ve never had anyone degrade me because of it.
    As well saying that banter is just simply a cover up is quite ignorant in itself. I have a mixed friends group and yes some of my male friends could be classified as the lads so they do make comments about me and my chest. For example if I hug a certain friend of mine he’ll be like aww yeah boob hug. It is what it is: a joke.

    I find the grouping together of “Lads” quite ignorant as well. Not every male who make a crude comment would grope or rape a girl in a bathroom or even think about doing it. Just because they’ll say “Oh yeah she’d get it” doesn’t mean that they are going to turn towards sexual assault. That’s extremely offensive to men who are just literally making a joke and you’re taking it far too seriously.

    Also at clubs that point seems rather invalid to me. Women get dressed up, show themselves off and go to a club a scene that is notorious for hooking up with people. Reality check you’re going to get hit on. It’s a woman’s aim to get hit on. I’m not agreeing with the whole it’s their own fault for putting it on display, they deserved to get raped argument before you make that connection. You seem to make connections and exaggerate things like that a lot.

    You just seem like a very angry person, to be honest.

    • Gregor McCann

      This comment depresses me. It’s just another example of how society has naturalised the behaviour so even women think it’s okay. As for ‘taking it far too seriously’, that’s unfair. It’s a serious topic and I take it as seriously as it deserves.

      ‘It’s a woman’s aim to get hit on’… I know from personal experience that is untrue. I have many female friends who simply enjoy looking nice and having a good time without trying to attract male attention. You’re doing as exactly what you criticised me of by crudely stereotyping all women here.

      And, yes, I am angry. When you’re one of the only people who can see that this is a problem and every else doesn’t want to know it can get very trying.

    • Amanda Fee

      I have to say i disagree with you here, Faye. You write that ‘the grouping together of ‘Lads” is ignorant yet you begin your comment by chiming the age old excuse of ‘men being men’ which is pretty contradictory. I have a large amount of male friends who don’t go around yelling ‘phwoar’ or ‘she’d get dicked’ and the like, nor do they comment about my chest or ‘boob hugs’ like yours do, it would just feel weird if they did. Being attracted to someone is a natural and enjoyable feeling, but displaying it in this manner is not. It’s a behavior that is learned and taught by previous generations with few people having the (metaphorical) balls to say ‘stop, that’s not how you treat a person.’. If and when a guy shouts this at me, all i can think is that he is an absolute nob. What is the outcome he expects, what does he hope to achieve? if the time comes that he reproduces and perhaps has a daughter, how will he feel about when she becomes a teenager, when she inevitably encounters this behavior? Imagine if she comes home upset, let’s say a random stranger has groped her when she was out at a bar, do you think he’ll say ‘oh, get over it, boys will be boys’ or ‘that’s just how you girls are treated, get over it’ maybe even ‘well you want to get hit on don’t you? after all you put a dress on and went to a club’ no, no he won’t say that. He’ll want to protect his daughter.
      I go out to bars myself. Because i like a pint and because I’d like a bit of a dance after spending hours cramped by my laptop studying to get a higher grade job. A job which, in your opinion, I’m unfit for because i have a vagina and am therefore illogical – to quote De Beauvoir ““Woman has ovaries, a uterus: these peculiarities imprison her in her subjectivity, circumscribe her within the limits of her own nature. It is often said that she thinks with her glands. Man superbly ignores the fact that his anatomy also includes glands, such as the testicles, and that they secrete hormones. “.
      I am not asking to get hit on. I don’t clamor about for attention from men. Saying it’s inevitable that this will happen because a girl is at a bar is also pretty insulting to men as you’re assuming once they see a female in a dress they lose all motor and vocal functions and go on a terminator-esque mission to acquire the target. Men have a choice over how they act towards other women. (and vice versa)
      I will say however that i agree with you when you say that it’s a complete exaggeration that if a guy catcalls a girl it is just one step away from sexual assault. This is indeed a bit of a jump and it does lump a lot of men into a single category. I think what the author is trying to get at is how far along the line does it become unacceptable – when is it a bit *too* rapey? The lines are beginning to blur, and if the culture intensifies how far will it go?
      Not all men are the same, and not all men speak to women the same. What’s important is that we constantly question the norms and what’s considered to be acceptable. Sometimes it’s fine, sometimes you have to just stop and think.

    • Stephanie Bass

      That’s wonderful that you feel comfortable and you don’t get harassed, and hopefully everyone can enjoy that one day. But a lot of women get harassed and aren’t comfortable with it.

      I absolutely agree that not every man who shouts a comment like ‘nice tits’ etc or leers at you would sexually assault or rape someone, but those types of comments or looks make a lot of people, including myself, feel very unsafe, especially if you can’t walk down your own street without that happening. And to be honest, you don’t know that those men AREN’T going to follow you or sexually assault you, because that does happen.

      It’s incredibly outdated to use the argument that women are more emotional than men, and therefore men are better at higher-up jobs; that’s the argument used nearly 100 years ago by men who didn’t want to give women the vote. While women are biologically more emotional, by no means does that make them less suitable for high up jobs. The whole chemistry behind that is a separate issue, but you can’t make a connection between a woman’s professional abilities and the hormones she has no control over.

      Your point about clubs, that women get themselves dressed up in order to hook up with people, is also very general, but even so is applicable to men too, perhaps more so. Some women, again including myself, just go out to have fun with their friends, without the intention of hooking up with someone. Of course you’re going to get hit on, but that’s not always the aim.

      While you raise some good points about the generalisation of men in this article, I think it’s very ignorant to NOT feel angry about this issue, especially as a woman, and it’s unreasonable to imply that it discredits the arguments made in this article. I find it confusing that as a woman, you don’t feel angry about those ‘oh yeah she’d get it’ jokes that portray women as nothing more than objects for sexual use. To hear that said by a close male friend is one thing, but it’s not nice to hear groups of bulked up young male strangers call that at you when it’s getting dark.

  7. Gregor McCann

    I urge everyone to scroll down and read Alex MacDonald’s comments. They’re very helpful and insightful.

    • Kenneth Harvey

      “I urge everyone to scroll down and read Alex MacDonald’s comments. They’re very helpful and insightful.”

      This is something Alex MacDonald said
      “And this nonsense about “men are victims of sexism too” is infuriating – there’s no sexism without power and privilege.”

      Are you saying that that men are better than woman? That woman don’t have power and privileges?

      I am pretty sure it was also him that said males were conditioned to be sexist. You can not make a generalisation like this. That is sexist and untrue. I am a male and I have much love and respect for the female gender.

      I know it is off topic, but look what the Israeli government is doing to Palestine. Israel, if you forgive the language, are being a big bunch of pricks. But if I said “All Jews are evil” what will happen to me? I am making a simple generalisation (although extreme in comparison) it is still the same crime.

      I occasionally make the “Woman. Go make me a sammich” comments to people I hold dear and love on a platonic level but they know and I know that I am joking. That I am just trying to push for a reaction and on more often than not, the person I am thinking of right now will just shoot it right back at me.

      Now, looking at that generalisation again, the one you support, I call BS on because I am not the slightest bit sexist. Well. Maybe a little, I tend to pick girls over guys when picking characters in computer games. There are many others like me and many that even less.

      You sir seem to simply have a bee up your bonnet as from what I can tell this is at the very least, your second rant about this subject and your blatant abuse toward the male gender is sickening. And after you seem to support Alex MacDonalds, either obviously uneducated assumptions (i.e. every male on the planet is sexist and never receives male oriented sexism, proven wrong by all the hot, half naked firemen calenders found in offices) or pure sarcasm (I can not decide which), I don’t see how you couldn’t say you are directed your comments at one subset of males. You are a very disgusting person.

      “The English language is beautifully organic. As long as I make it explicitly clear – which I have – I can use any word in any way I want. This is a silly semantics argument and doesn’t add any value to the discussion.” Your use of the English language is beautifully organic. Not the language it’s self.

      Even if you explain your meaning, miss-use of a word is miss-use of a word and can lead to confusion.

      • Gregor McCann

        There are so many straw men in this post I can’t choose which one to address. So maybe I’ll just leave it at that. You seem very set on sticking to your view and caricaturing others when they do not agree. I would suggest watching ‘Miss Representation’ and ‘America the Beautiful’, as well as reading The Equality Illusion by Kat Banyard, if you want to educate yourself on this issue.

  8. Laura Bull

    Essentially, all forms of ‘correct etiquette’ and the basis common ground of what is common courtesy have been replaced with what is less appealing.

    An interesting article to read; I have dealt with the, ‘lads’ described but it is indeed safe to say that not all males are like this. Many females enjoy this kind of attention, but again, not all. A topic that needed to be addressed but the real question is what is going to be done about it after the ranting and raving? Society as a whole is degrading itself in relation to treating each other in a civil manner and it will only change through the current generation of the young’s attitude improving and using brain rather than braun.

  9. Henry Gibson

    Also I wouldn’t say this sort of thing is becoming the majority in guys, it’s just easy to spot a turd on a clear wall.

  10. Seamus O'D

    I’m not disagreeing with you on this, however I debate that there are a large enough of them to have a whole article on these people. We notice them too, and think it’s horrible. But what gets me most is…why does these men/boys have girlfriends, or women following them around? For the minority of “lads” that are assholes to women, there are women who like that. The only way those sort of women notice it is if they are loud, brash and broad in their aims to attract the attention of these women. I’m certainly not advocating this, as I pity both sexes who suffer from this…”‘lad-ism”, as usually they are the ones who dropped out of school early, unemployed, ignorant of anything worldly and don’t seem to have much of a future. But then again, that’s a wide generalisation of these people, no?

  11. Jessica Robb-fuell

    Isn’t it interesting that all guys are trying to defend themselves…the thing with this post is that it is a generalistion of men there are some men that are exactly how this post portrays them im sorry to say that it is turnig into the majority, however, there are also guys who are lovely human beings. There is still an inequality of power between the sexes but I dont see that its going to change any time soon anyway.
    All in all some men treat women like crap and some dont but some women treat men like crap and some dont. Just because women are seen as the inferior sex men are penalised more and therefore there is more propoganda on how men treat women and not vice versa.

  12. Bethany Wilcock

    not all of this is true at all. one night stands doesnt only have the ‘lads’ to blame is girls too. And its not only the lads who should be seen as just wanting sex because thats some girls too. Also banter isnt that bad. obviously the banter youve heard is rubbish because ive had banter with lots of people and yeah it is being mean but making it into a joke but you cant say youve never said something to one of your friends that if it was said to anyone else they would be offended. because that is banter.

  13. And this nonsense about “men are victims of sexism too” is infuriating – there’s no sexism without power and privilege. It’s as ridiculous as saying “white people are victims of racism too” or “straight people are victims of heterophobia”…

    • Kenneth Harvey

      That would be incorrect Mr Alex. I have been on the receiving end of sexual harassment, bullying and even stalking from females, and saying “only men are sexist” is sexist in it’s own right. On top of this, I know people both in England and in the US that have been on the receiving end of Anti white racism.

      Just because you have not seen it happen/had it dont to you, does not mean it doesn’t exist.

      A lack of evidence is not evidence in it’s own right and all that stuff.

    • Cameron Hector

      I disagree completely. Simply because the institution of one group has power doesn’t mean that same group cannot be targeted by discrimination. Sexism is prejudice against members of the opposite sex, racism is prejudice against members of another race. I couldn’t say I’ve ever heard of homosexuals targeting heterosexuals, but I’ve seen women (feminists mostly) hold prejudice against men who have done no wrong on the sole basis that they have a penis. Meanwhile, there are whole areas in America where you can be beaten up and killed for being white. Thinking that because you’re a white, heterosexual male you’re exempt from being prejudiced against is naive and shows a limited understanding of reality.

      • Kenneth Harvey

        I don’t remember what the study was, who it was by or where to cite this quote from but I remember a while back reading an article that said “White, middle aged Christians have the worst discrimination of all pushed towards them”

  14. Men are institutionally taught to be demeaning to women. Not all men are sexist, but the majority are and need to be in order to maintain patriarchy. Laddism is just the most extreme and obnoxious example and it should be combatted in all instances, without any heed being given to notions of “boys will be boys” or “male bonding”…

  15. Mairead Mcculloch-keeble

    I completely agree with you on this, not only are ‘lads’ objectifying women still, they take us for granted and assume that we see them as some form of authority figure that we will bow down to. We aren’t equal, we’re just slightly less unequal then we were before.

  16. Allan McLeod

    I disagree because men are victims of sexual harassment too: I’ve had my ass grabbed at work & in nightclubs and I’ve been talked down to like I’m a dick because I didn’t ask a woman for a phone number or because I wouldn’t **** her. The simplicity of it is that women have been taught to recognize this behavior as the abuse that it is whereas we men view it as an irritant when it is done to us because we haven’t. Because of the perception that sexual harassment is something done by men to women, women don’t realize that that is what it is when they do it to a bloke. I’ve been asked questions about the fact that I’m a bloke at job interviews and I’ve lost count of the number of half naked men that I see floating around facebook. That last one doesn’t bother me but being asked a question related to the fact that I’m a bloke at an interview about whether I mind there being ‘jibes’ at work because I’m a bloke or asking if I have a problem with every other member of staff being a woman is blatant sexism. There is nothing that ‘lads’ do to women that women to do men equally.

  17. hugh walt meight

    this article is not going to get you laid you subhuman scum

    • Gregor McCann

      Damn, I’ve just printed out one-hundred copies to pass around university for exactly that reason! Are you really telling me it won’t work?!

  18. Kenneth Harvey

    Given that the official definition of “lad” is just “young male” and not any specific type of male like you seem to think it means, I find this article some what intrusive, abusive and insulting.

    On top of this, while there are males out there like this, generalising it like you did is pitiful and spiteful in it’s own right and to sprawl out insults the way you did is immature. Which are just some of the characteristics you attribute to them.

    Does this mean you are like them?

    I kind of feel rather than “posting an article” You may in fact be merely posting a rant based on your own insecurities based on a bad experience you had given to you by the sub culture you are highlighting here.

    It is not only this sub culture that does it. There are woman that act the same way. Merely saying “males” is sexist. and then, it is not just men and woman. What about the media? Playboy has a lot to answer for with the society as it is now. Then there are computer games that “flaunt female assets for mens entertainment” For instance, the Dead or Alive series. And what about the tomb raider games. In the first, it looked like they may have been trying for female empowerment in games then it just turned out to be “letting guys watch an arse run around in tight fitting shorts”. Or many of the fantasy games and movies where woman where armour with so little benefit it is obviously there for fan service.

    I will now finish off this comment with a simple statement.

    Discrimination is discrimination. Whether it is vs religion, gender, age, species, race or culture, it is discrimination. Discrimination is atrocious and puts those that discriminate on the same level of social scum.

    Ken

    • Gregor McCann

      I will ignore the insecurities comment because I think it is irrelevant and beneath the topic.

      What I will say is, yes, discrimination is discrimination, but we need to attack this kind of discrimination as much as any other. And yes, perhaps this article is immature. But you can’t reason with an immature person on any intellectual level. So I’ve chosen to attack them. I make that very clear in the article. Of course I hate racists and other bigots. I simply did not have the time or inclination to write an article about them. And you seem to assume that I think these lads are produced ex nihilo. If you read my reply to Edward Dyer at the bottom of the page, you will see that I have mentioned culture and other possible causes. Every cultural phenomenon has a source. That was simply not my concern in this article. My only concern in this article was to insult them. I think I succeeded, but you may disagree.

  19. John Hoffmanawarre

    I hate men too. no repressed sexual urges or anything…..oh wait.

  20. Henry Gibson

    “Men are institutionally taught to be demeaning to women.” – Alex MacDonald

    No they’re not, don’t be ridiculous.

    The root of this is that there are different types of people. Some people (male and female) enjoy ‘lad’ culture, others don’t. It’s the other people who look at ‘lad’ culture from the outside and find it disgusting who then go to write articles like this. The people on the inside of the culture enjoy what they do, they find it fun, it’s how they choose to live their life. Unfortunately sometimes your culture and ‘lad’ culture overlap.

    • Gregor McCann

      You may as well say that the Germans in 1943 enjoyed the anti-Semitic culture, so why did we not just let them enjoy it? The Nazis certainly did. Why did we feel it necessary to intervene? The answer is, sometimes society has to be viewed objectively, regardless of the feelings of those within it, if it is to be properly cured. Lad culture is not harmless. It is a sickness. When women are being degraded on the way to work, when lads’ magazines’ and rapists’ comments are indistinguishable – http://jezebel.com/5866602/can-you-tell-the-difference-between-a-mens-magazine-and-a-rapist – it is clear there is a problem. To attempt to refute this with something as simplistic and puerile as ‘some people are different’ is an injustice. Yes – some people are different. But it is our job as a society to question why that is. Otherwise, we’d still be slaughtering each other in the goddamn gladiatorial arena.

      “The Romans want to stab and kill each other and feed Christians to lions? Well, live and let live, I say.”

      • Kenneth Harvey

        And what right does any one person have to dictate how another lives their lives.
        It is called “Freedom of choice” You are free to make this post, but don’t complain when people (Sorry.. Society) Doesn’t agree with you and tells you that you are in the wrong. (Kind of like the so called “lad”)

        A man can feel free to rape a woman, but do it and taste the wrath of the law. (I apologise to any one sensitive to this but I am trying to make a point)

        Feel free to drive drunk. And die from driving into a tree.

        Feel free to act the way these “lads” do (btw. I am a lad. But I was brought up to respect woman and be a gentleman)

        And like me. Feel free to hold a door open to an elderly woman.

        “As for the tone of the article – it was a polemic. If it seems angry it’s because I am angry. If it seems unreasonable it’s because I’m arguing against people who do not understand reason. You can’t rationally argue with these bastards, so why not insult them?”

        No. You aren’t arguing against people who do not understand reason. You are arguing against us, while some of us don’t (I wont be mentioning names) A lot of us seem to have intelligent arguments in response to your accusations and derogatory slur.

        As for this?

        “so why not insult them?”

        Because you are supposed to be a better person than them?
        So. Ask your self. Are you a better person?

        • Gregor McCann

          Freedom of choice is meaningless if it exists within a society in which men are conditioned to be sexist without even realising it. To excuse this behavior based upon sometwisted moral relativism is immoral. If the situation is viewed critically – if the harm that their behaviour causes isproperly considered – then it should be evident to any compassionate person that it is reprehensible.

          As for whether or not I am better than them, I’d have to say no – not inherently, at least. They behave in a far more disgusting way than me, but in these circumstances I am more than willing to sink to their level becauae it is the onlylevel they can operate on.

  21. Adam Hughes

    Disagree. Yes some men/boys are total idiots or “lads” as they call each other but the vast majority of them are nothing like that… To brand the majority as “lads” is wrong. I think you will find that there are plenty of women who seek out men at clubs to get free drinks, as a society we must treat both these minorities as an equal evil and not brand one group worse than the other.

  22. Grace Bower

    I think there is some kind of stigma surrounding males being nice to females and many are afraid of being called gay or laughed at. It’s stupid really and there’s nothing wrong with being nice to females at all.

  23. Alex Tomley

    I disagree with this. It’s hard to generalise all ‘lads’ that they are like this. It’s usually the minority. Half the time girls even encourage it! Girls enjoy being different to lads. I wouldn’t dress myself up to please a lad! I do it because it makes me feel good. Therefore, assuming that girls ‘dress up’ or wear make up just for the sake of a guy’s attention is being narrow. Some guys can be jerks but it’s only a minority. Plenty of guys can get harassed by girls. Plenty of guys could give off the impression of being a stereotypical ‘lad’ but I’ve yet to come across one who actually meets this description after a conversation with them! It’s difficult to judge a gender that broadly so to hate them because of a small minority wouldn’t be fair on the male population. I agree that girls shouldn’t be treated that way but sometimes it takes two to tango!

  24. Brad

    Although I wholly agree with the overall themes of this article, in that women should not be objectified, dehumanised, used, or judged solely on their appearance, I feel like accusing ‘Lads’ even just in lieu of a culprit, is incorrect. I have a large group of male friends, who could be described as lads on first appearance, however, if anyone spent more than 15 seconds talking to them, it would become quickly evident how far wrong their assumption was. I feel like the blame actually lies with a subset of society as a whole, which includes men of all shapes, sizes and attitudes. I’ve come across people who absolutely do not conform to the stereotype of LAD, but behave in a way worse than most people attribute to lads. The problem does not lie with a group of people, and those people do not embody the problem, they are just the easiest people to blame, on account of them being highly visible in society. This article would have been skipped over completely by the majority of people if it was given it’s correct title; “various men of different backgrounds, women are more than just receptacles of semen”.

    • Catrin Haberfield

      Brad – Hear, hear!! While the basis of this article is commendable, the way to deal with this issue isn’t to marginalise and stereotype another group of people.

    • Brad

      Furthermore, the first picture used does not illustrate a group of LADs, they’re chavs.

  25. DasNotItMane

    lmao what a faggot you are I bet you can’t get one girl so this is why you are writing this bs. women are only valuable for reproduction(/sex) and nurturing(these things aren’t unimportant) this is how it has been for millions of years and how it should stay.

    • Cameron Hector

      “lmao what a faggot you are I bet you can’t get one girl so this is why you are writing this bs. women are only valuable for reproduction(/sex) and nurturing(these things aren’t unimportant) this is how it has been for millions of years and how it should stay.”
      Sub-basic grasp of evolutionary principles meets blatant chauvinism meets ad hominem attacks. You must be very proud of your argument.
      Women do, and have always done, a lot more than simply reproduce and nurture. Women have foraged, crafted useful items such as baskets and clothes, managed the home and on occasion hunted. This is of course irrelevant because we are not our primitive ancestors – women today are the intellectual equals of men, and therefore are our equals in all the areas that really matter. They are valuable for conversation and companionship; they are less likely to wage war and make irrational decisions; they are far better at finding solutions.
      As for accusing the author of a) being a faggot and b) being unable to get one girl, how does this aid your argument? You have not convinced anyone of anything except your own inane stupidity. I share the author’s opinion and am in a committed relationship. What does that say about the quality of your point?

  26. Ali

    got bored after the first paragraph. The simple solution to the problem is that humanity left religion. Yes religion – the thing that gives women rights which the world has been condemming for taking womens rights. If only everyone would open their eyes and realise religion is the only thing that gives women true respect! Sex outside marriage is banned for a reason otherwise what makes you different to an animal?

    • Cameron Hector

      Ali “If only everyone would open their eyes and realise religion is the only thing that gives women true respect! Sex outside marriage is banned for a reason otherwise what makes you different to an animal?”

      Firstly, I challenge you to find more verses in the Bible that empower women than there are verses that condemn them. I think you will find it hard.
      Secondly, take the same approach with the Qur’an. I suspect that will be even harder.
      Look at Iran, Bangladesh, Saudi Arabia, hell, even the supposedly developed city of Dubai, where a woman will be arrested for going to the police for being raped. You tell me that women are empowered by religion, yet give no evidence that this has ever been the case.

      Furthermore, what separates us from other animals is our ability to reflect, to cogitate ideas and plans, to think ahead. Sex before marriage doesn’t lead to immorality, denial of your human nature leads to false morality. Is it moral to spend money building a megachurch when there a billions of people underfed in the world?

  27. Gregor McCann

    Incidentally, for anyone who is interested in media representations of women and dehumanisation and why lads may behave the way they do, two very good documentaries are ‘Miss Representation’ and ‘America the Beautiful’, which I think can be found online.

  28. Bethany Easton

    I think the main issue is not “lads” as individuals, but the wider concept of lad culture. It is becoming a part of most clubs, unis, schools, and, mostly, social media.
    It also sprouts harmful subcultures. Have you heard of the creepshot website? Men taking sexual pictures of women in public and the street without them even knowing about it? It’s disgusting, and fuelled by moronic “lad bible” debits, Facebook pages and twitter account.

  29. Edward Dyer

    I’m glad you began this article with your definition of “lads” rather than criticising all men. I agree, that subculture acts in many of the ways you’ve described. I do feel like you’ve made one oversight, one which should have been discussed. The reason WHY they think this behaviour is acceptable.

    You talk as though it’s something they cannot control; it’s something that defines them. I don’t think it’s that deeply ingrained. Take a lad out of the lads and what happens? With no one to impress, compete with or ‘banter’ with – they’re much more subdued. I don’t think any “lad” is past redemption.

    Something does need to be done about “lads”: reduce their coverage in the media, control the “celebrities” that thrive on that culture and target young children and teach them that is not an acceptable way to behave.

    That said, maybe we should return to good old fashioned Darwinism. Survival of the fittest, the intelligent, the caring. Pretty much what a “lad” isn’t.

    • Gregor McCann

      I agree with you that that is an important oversight. The truth is I simply wanted this article to be a polemic and there weren’t enough words to explore causes. I can offer my own theory now, though. I think that the perpetuation of the lad culture stems from two main things. One is the media – by which I mean porn and popular television, film, and advertising – and the other is the camaraderie among these men. They grow up in a society that continuously objectifies women and tells them that they are objects, and then they meet like-minded people who have also grown up in this society and decide that it must be the correct way to behave. They are unable to separate the crass representations of women in popular media and real women, which is what I meant when I called them ‘chronic dehumanisers’.

      Basically, I agree with everything you’ve said. There are too many media representations of plastic women and jock men.

  30. Cameron Hector

    The only thing I disagree with is your definition of the word “banter”. They misuse it as a way of disguising their cretinous exchanges, but used skilfully between compatriots of a higher order, it can become a verbal sabre-duel, affirming both the sharp wit of and underlying security of friendship between both parties.

    That being said, I find the behaviour of ‘lads’ to be utterly reprehensible and without any shred of honour or morality. The issue here is a society which ultimately shuns intelligence and courtesy in favour of masculinity and physical attributes.

    • Gregor McCann

      This is perhaps a distinction I should’ve made. Of course, banter in the right context among intelligent people can be quite funny. But the banter I speak of is the ‘haha she’s wearing a skirt let’s heckle her’ kind.

  31. Megan Bloom

    I totally agree. Women are people and the fact that there is a group of people that believe it is right to treat them any less than that is disgusting. The world doesn’t revolve around ‘lads’ and the sooner they realise that, the happier we’ll all be.

    • Ali

      The only time they will realise it is when they come onto religion, humanity has turned to shit because they don’t even know their purpose.

  32. Amina Said

    Lads are just immature boys that need to man up. And women should start respecting themselves because they are the reason why some boys have no respect for women.

  33. Taylor Navarro

    What I’m interested to find out (as a psychology student) is how did society allow men to become this way? Most of us can see that the way ‘lads’ treat women is unacceptable but there just seem to be more and more of these morons emerging from the woodwork and it is appalling! What happened in these people’s childhood that made it seem acceptable to degrade women (who gave them life and nurtured it) in such a way? Private opinions are more or less acceptable but to shout it out in the street is simply rude. Something needs to be done to save the next generations because behaviour like this should not be sustained!

    • Gregor McCann

      I agree that the causes of this endemic sexism are important. One important factor, I think, is the hyper-sexualisation of women and young girls in the media as well as the prevalence and availability of pornography. Everywhere young boys look they are told that women are sex objects.

  34. KatieM

    ‘a Neanderthal-esque vestigial of life’.

    No Neanderthals were very intelligent, creative and a strong human species bad comparison to make (I do Bio Anth sorry). I think you are trying to imply that ‘Lads’ act in a very outdated no longer adaptive way. I think that modern society is built in a way that allows them to act upon male innate tendencies in a disruptive and uncontrolled way. Not all males do this so there can’t be anything innately wrong with men themselves but in the decisions that some take.

    They haven’t learned how to control their impulses and act rationally (that is If ‘Lads’ even exist or whether this is just a collective term for all the characteristics of young males you do not like shoved into one stereotype.. I can’t believe that any male individual can be all of these things in one).

    ‘so odd says much about the unequal state of gender relations’. I can see your point in this paragraph .
    Many women (including me) do not wear makeup, skirts or conform to this imaginary idea of ‘beauty although most of the time It’s fine I know that individuals (both men and women) treat me differently and may think to themselves certain things about how ‘unwomanly’ I am being. Perhaps they do but it’s not an issue for me It is how our society is there will always be expectations about what each gender should do (e.g. Women should be attractive Men should be strong), it is probably innate within us to expect men and women to act in different ways.

    Our culture is in part the result of our biological makeup (humans make culture it isn’t just culture making us) and men and women are biologically different in some ways, It isn’t surprising that we have made our cultures to reflect that (to some extent).

  35. Stacey Hone

    I can understand what you are saying, I always hear guys talking so disrespectfully about women…the ‘she’d get it.’, ‘look at that ass.’ ‘Ugly face but still would do her cause she’s got a good rack’ etc.
    Listening to this type of behaviour isn’t nice. I think it’s influenced by the sexual driven world that is being created by porn: sex is everywhere. The worst part of it is the playing it down as ‘banter’ when really it’s just a way of being horrible and derogatory towards women…

  36. Henry Gibson

    This is about lad culture not religious extremism…

    Anyway, your article sucks because it’s all generalisation and all rage, it doesn’t really discuss anything therefore unless you already agree with it, it has nothing of interest in.

    Sexism in lad culture is a big problem, but nobody is specifically to blame. Maybe if your article had tried to explore that a bit more it would have been interesting but as it stands it reads as “The men are to blame because they hate women and want to be more powerful”, which is certainly not the full picture.

  37. Gregor McCann

    Many people seemed to be annoyed that I did not include women in my diatribe. So, a note on that:
    To include women in a discussion about sexism – to claim that they are equally to blame – is completely counterproductive. Yes, some women do exhibit behaviour that could be construed as conforming to this pattern. But that does not mean that they are at all to blame. Historically (in Western society, as in many places all over the world it is still the case) women have been treated as sub-human inferiors to men. Women have been controlled and punished for simply being with different genitals. Fear of female sexuality has resulted in such horrors as genital mutilation and incarceration in insane asylums. Women only got the vote in 1928 in this country. And only in the 1960s did they begin to emerge from the patriarchal construct in which they existed for millennia. Even now, women are not equal. They get paid less, regularly objectified in the media, and are expected to care a lot more about the way they look than their intellectual merits. There is a dissonance in our society: women are other, men are the default. Again, I cite The Equality Illusion by Kat Banyard if anyone doubts that this is true. So, to say that women conform to this pattern is a pointless statement. Of course they conform to it. It is the status quo. Not all women – and not all men – are so socially conscious that they want to question the status quo. They accept it much in the same way most Victorian women accepted punishment for adultery whereas men were exonerated without trial. Women have been ‘equal’ (legally) for less than a century. We have to try and rework thousands of years of concentrated oppression. That is why it is pointless to mention women. Oh, a woman grabbed your ass once? Try being a woman in Afghanistan and having acid thrown in your face for learning how to read, pussy.

    • Rachel Mcsharry

      i just want to say to the comment from Greror McCann, although i can see what you are saying in some respects, like to include women is like asking why isn’t there a white history month. but a few points you slipped on; women got the vote in britain in 1918 (this could of been a typo i understand) but they did get equal political rights in 1958, and equal pay has been established. furthermore the feminist movement didnt start in the 1960’s, it started in the 1860’s (with the 1866 contagious diseases act, led by Lydia Becker) and i can admit that women are treated as second class citizens across the world, but that isn’t to say that strong women have been repressed (jean d’arc, queen victoria, queen elizabeth 1st, Margaret Thatcher ect)
      i think the real issue people are getting annoyed is the fact that this is such a controversial issue, but it should be, men and women are equal. that is it. The only thing people will get angry at about your article is that in a way you have shown men as almost animalistic and women as the victim, which is pretty much how it is, so hats off to you, but people don’t like the bluntness. but then how on earth would you write an article about it?? and then what improvements would we ever make towards equality??

      • Gregor McCann

        And when I mentioned the 1960s I was talking about the sexual revolution. I know that the feminist movement started much sooner than this. That’s my fault for not making myself clear. Apologies.

      • Gregor McCann

        I agree with everything you’ve said apart from that in 1918 only women over 30 were allowed to vote. In 1928 it was extended to women over 21. I chose the date that included more women. It was not a typo.

  38. Rachel Mcsharry

    I totally agree that there is an attitude set that men are more superior than women. The expectations that men have towards women are unrealistic, the typical mind set that every woman looks like a girl in a music video or a magazine is totally wrong, it’s a fault in society that people still let this happen. The idea of ‘glamour models’ was introduced shortly after women got the vote in England, icons such as Marilyn Monroe emerged and became famed for looks, rather than the famed women before her who were famed for their brains.
    When it comes to rape culture, i seriously give up on the world; did you know that there is a device called the ‘Rapex’ which is like a female condom, it’s plastic, and it is inserted into the vagina, it isn’t a contraception, as on the inside of it, it has upward pointing spikes, so if a man tried to rape a woman, his penis becomes impale (which you can imagine would hurt and not only that, they would have to go to hospital to get it removed, and they can’t even deny rape in court) but the Rapex failed to get funding as to many people seen it is ‘mediaeval torture’ the argument behind this was, well yes but rape is a mediaeval crime. I think this is proof enough that society itself cares more about a man’s penis than it does the humanity of a woman.
    I would also liek to point out that you may very well say ‘lad’ but you could argue that women do actually conform to the expectation of society in many respects, if not glamour/ fashion magazines would be out of business. I think it’s totally wrong that women shoudl dress in a specific way, be it just to wear hoodies, simply to shun the idea of female glamour, they shoudl wear what they want, but there is the idea these magazines show that they dress this way purely for men, not for their own design (for example, why do men’s jeans have huge pockets while women’s have sewed on pockets? it’s because clothes for men are practical, while women are there to be a pretty object). It would be unfair to shun all men, which is why i like your labelling of them as ‘lads’ the same way they label women as sex toys. But there is also an expectation of men from society, that they should be butch, and superior to women, it works both ways; of course it works more in favour of men, and they needn’t complain about ‘feminazis’ trying to take that away from them, or shun feminists for trying to make society bend to their needs, when in actual fact it is society that is bending us to the needs of a white majority patriarchal system.
    (was this too long for a comment?? oops.)

  39. Emily

    This made me chuckle, I agree to a certain extent that ‘lads’ are moronic figures. They do seem to create a domino effect with their ‘banter’ and inappropriate judgements on female appearance. Nonetheless, boys will be boys and they see it as harmless fun with their possy. It can’t and will not ever be changed, I say leave them to it!

    • Gregor McCann

      What if members of the Suffrage movement had said the same thing?

      “We can’t vote? Well, boys will be boys . . . let’s leave them to it!”

      People have to question and insult and ridicule and act if anything is ever going to get better.

  40. Gregor McCann

    Also, Edward Dyer’s are very good.

  41. Faye Barker

    I agree with this to an extent.Completely agree with the type of person you’re talking about, however I think there’s more to it than that, there’s always an exception to the rules, some ‘lads’ may act that way towards females when around their friends, but when in a relationship it might be different.

    There’s also the problem with women who dress in low tops and short skirts. They actually want that kind of attention. I find it ridiculous, they’re dressing with almost everything on display, intentionally looking like whores. These are the females that encourage and want ‘lads’.

  42. Aya

    I have to agree with this article, and I’m not saying all males are like this. I’m simply agreeing because I have been victim to this; Idiotic and ‘moronic’ guys who seem to make jokes about me like ‘im not even there. Truth is, I heard every disgusting and rather dumb, simple-minded childish words, and I really mean childish, one of the words I heard were ‘Dumb head’, because I was sitting on a desk opposite them.

  43. Gregor McCann

    MMany people seem to be wilfully ignoring the caveat with which I started this article:

    When I use the word ‘lad’, I mean any male who thinks degrading women is, under any circumstances, funny. For example: “I’d love to rape her, but it wouldn’t be rape . . . cuz she’d want it.”

    I’m talking about those kinds of men. That’s the reason it’s in bold and at the start of the article. Of course, not all men are like this. But there is a worrying prevalence of this type of behaviour. Before anyone immediately discounts it, they should consider who it is they socialise with. Obviously a smart and nice person isn’t going to encounter these types of people often, because they are not appealing as friends. But that does not mean that in other areas – areas where this kind of behaviour goes unquestioned – it is not prevalent. Also, consider that some of these men, when alone, will hide their beliefs and only when with other like-minded sexists will they behave in their natural way.

    As for the tone of the article – it was a polemic. If it seems angry it’s because I am angry. If it seems unreasonable it’s because I’m arguing against people who do not understand reason. You can’t rationally argue with these bastards, so why not insult them?

    • Seamus O'D

      “You can’t rationally argue with these bastards, so why not insult them?”

      Because it’s not constructive. It doesn’t help them, nor change them, nor make them think about their attitude. It just buries them deeper into the generalisation, and so continue. Rather than an article to vent your rage at them (which given your description of all of them being neanderthals, probably won’t read it anyway), call out on it when you see it.

      Standing by and watching it happen gives them the feeling of accepting this type of behavior, when it isn’t. Calling them out on it would make them reconsider, especially if it turns the focus of the public (assuming a public situation here) on them. And hey, there’s always the bonus of insulting them face-to-face in the process if your heart so desires.

      • Gregor McCann

        I fail to see how writing an article insulting them is the same as accepting their behaviour. And I am not so deluded that I think an article I write is enough to alter these lads’ entire personalities. You seem to have confused an article criticizing them with ‘standing by and watching it happen’. I’d be curious to know your thinking there.

        • Seamus O'D

          To be blunt Gregor, I see your article as a rant. It doesn’t suggest why these people do it, how long it has been on this Earth for, it just attacks them.

          I think it’s great that we live in a world where articles such as this can be published and generally accepted that serious forms of sexism is bad (I’m not advocating mild sexism either, but it is acceptable among male OR female friends as you’re making a joke of it). But ranting for the sake of ranting? We already know assholes such as these exist, and we know they’re assholes. There’s no mention of these lads being a minority, only a target, and so portrays that these people are widespread, and obviously every second guy on the street is one of them.

          My reasoning is not that you accept it, far from it, but that due to a lack of action on your part in some situation described in your article has led you to write this article instead, fueled by the anger of your inactivity. I doubt anyone could write this article with such aggressive language, and somehow keep a cool head from some experience witnessed. Yes, Women aren’t “receptacles of semen” as you put it, but you’re preaching to the choir here.

          • Gregor McCann

            I really do wish I was ‘preaching to the choir’. Unfortunately, many of the comments are outright denials or belittling of the lad culture and their victims. As for the ranting, well – all I can say is I will not apologise for insulting them without proposing a solution. To propose a solution was not my aim in this article. You have a problem with the intent behind my article and I understand that. But to discount it based solely upon whether or not I attempt to reconstruct an entire society in seven-hundred words in missing the point.

    • Kenneth Harvey

      And when I use the words “TV show” I actually mean flying into space in a cereal box with nothing but cheese to live off.

      A lad is a young male. You are trying to re-define words that are already defined.

      • Gregor McCann

        The English language is beautifully organic. As long as I make it explicitly clear – which I have – I can use any word in any way I want. This is a silly semantics argument and doesn’t add any value to the discussion.