Recently, while attempting to distract my mind from the gaping void that is my existence, I seem to have found myself falling into a downward spiral that terminates somewhere in the depths of YouTube, far away from the music videos of greats such as Prince, Michael Jackson and the S Club Juniors.
It started with the rather innocent viewing of a ‘what’s in my bag’ video where a perky American woman detailed the contents of her handbag, before hours seemed to pass and I found myself making what seemed like the natural progression to videos detailing the contents of middle aged men’s toiletry bags.
Following a surprisingly long detour in which I witnessed a 27 year old use My Little Pony stickers to decorate her Filofax, I found myself progressing yet again, this time to videos of men with contoured faces discussing their favourite spring/summer moisturisers, and then to a part of Youtube in which people rank their favourite bangles.
Hours became days, and I soon wound up in a place where men in fur coats blame terrorism on people without designer bags, and women in crop tops yell that eating less than twelve bananas a day gives you cancer, which has ultimately led me here, the corner of a dark room, surrounded by banana peels and the lacklustre contents of my toiletry bag, and wondering whether it really was my polyester satchel that caused 9/11.
I think it might be time I gave YouTube a rest for a while. Well, maybe after just one more video…