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Articles > Relationships January, 31, 2016

First Date Rules – Tips For Men

James Vincent
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So you’ve asked a girl out on a date. She said yes and you’re feeling unstoppable, but this is just stage one – now you have to win her over on that all important first date. You know how people say first impressions aren’t everything? Well in this case they are, so here are some tips on first date expertise…

Girls have to kiss a few frogs to get their prince - make sure that's you!

A frog turned into prince charming?

Don’t go full Romeo

Girls loves romance, and they love guys being romantic, but this is your first date, not your wedding day! Keep your inner Romeo at bay. In addition, do not say the ‘L’ word. Do not say love. This will most likely scare her off and ruin the whole date. The little romantic touches will make her intrigued to get to know you more.

Don’t be a twat

When you first meet a girl, you want to make sure you stand out and seem confident. However, there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance which you can quickly cross over, and that’s where it can all go wrong. The minute you start throwing around arrogance, the girl is quickly turned off. Girls can instantly pick up that you’re being cocky, so you have to make sure you have the right attitude to make the first date smooth. So make sure you keep your cool – that way you’ll know the second date’s secured.

Keep bodily fluids to yourself

Manners are so important, especially on the first date. Opening the door, letting her walk in first and then pulling her chair out are all key. Keep the manners high and don’t do anything stupid – I once saw a man on a date use his napkin to blow his nose and then leave the snotty mess on the table! Keep your etiquette up and make sure you act the gentleman.

It’s not an interview…but make sure she hires you

When you go on a first date you want to get to know each other, right? That involves a fair amount of questions. Take it at a steady pace; don’t ask her a million and one questions, firing them at her before she can even reply. Stay relaxed and give her the time to reply to the questions you ask. Then, when it’s your turn to answer, elaborate on things to get the conversation flowing in different directions – a simple yes and no won’t do.

Go somewhere new or get lost

DO NOT GO TO YOUR LOCAL, I’m going to repeat that: when you take a girl out on the first date do not go to your local pub. Go somewhere new to you both, because that way, you’ll both remember it as an exciting first date experience! I once saw a couple in a place I knew, and I could clearly see they were on a first date, but every second person that walked past knew the guy and wanted to have a chat. You need to make sure she gets your full attention.

The past is the past

We all have a history with exes; some we ended on good terms with, and some we never want to talk to again. But on a first date you should NEVER, and I repeat, NEVER bring up exes. Trust me, the girl doesn’t want to hear about them. The problem is, if you start talking about an ex-girlfriend on the first date, she will immediately feel that you’re still attached, and you don’t want that at all.

If you’ve followed these rules, then congratulations: you’ve made it to the second date!

For more posts from James Vincent visit his blog!

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  1. Bethany Stewart

    Personally I think a first date should be easy going, relaxed and chilled. Go for coffee, get to know the person, show that you care what the persons interests, but don’t turn it into a interview. Be honest, but don’t reveal all straight away, you don’t want to make the other person scared straight away with your past. Don’t be all handsy handsy straight away, maybe if the date goes good, give her/him a peck. JUST BE YOURSELF!!!

  2. Jacob Jones

    I think the main point to mention when going on a date is DONT SEE THE OTHER PERSON AS A SEXUAL OBJECT.
    They’re a person with thoughts and feelings, which makes them beautiful. You want to get to know that.
    So rather than thinking “how do I get to sleep with this person” you want to be wondering what her thoughts are on personal issues that mean a lot to you(politics, music, education, food etc) and if she likes how you reciprocate on her opinion, you’re in with a chance surely.

  3. Nisbah Majid

    I think…a first date should be more calm so you can get to know the other person properly before making any huge life changing decisions

  4. Rosalyn Barnard

    All I can say is don’t rush in for your first date and don’t rush the date at all so you can get to know the other person. Being yourself and honest is really important! Definately get to know them a bit before the date so you can decide on a place to take them and some of their favourite things for conversation topics. If you’re the one that asked them on the date, be prepared to pay for their stuff!

  5. Rebecca Turner

    I totally agree that a first date should be chilled out, and relaxed. Just be yourself, and if she likes it, great! If not, she’s not for you! Better to be yourself than her find out you behaved totally out of character weeks down the line! That said, there seems to be so much pressure on our men to make these first dates run smoothly! As women we love to be treated and told we look beautiful, so give him a little ego boost in return!

  6. Abs

    I think that a first date shouldnt be a rush to try and impress its an opportunity to get to the person and see if you have an interest in them further. I understand wanting to look presentable and have a nice time. but too much pressure isnt needed and can often make it worse.You should never try and change yourself for someone. Just shows them the best version of you

  7. Thushyanthan Balakumar

    Taking an interest in her life, job or anything else that she likes to talk about is a must for first date conversations. Yes, women like to talk about themselves, but they also want the guy to show genuine interest in what they’re saying to gain a bigger picture of who they are. You can do that by asking questions like, “How did your job/hobby/interest start?”

  8. Darragh Piper

    Absolutely top notch article!

  9. Jewell

    James Vincent you know your stuff, well-Done! Also guys expect the unexepected and be authentic!

  10. mike bristow

    I think…it is just right and it is a good rule to follow makes things simple and fun

  11. Amanda Ludwig

    I think a first date should give the girl a chance to see who you truly are. Have fun. If the girl truly likes you she will appreciate the real you. Your relationship isn’t built on do and don’ts. It can be real that way.

  12. Itohan Ehineboh

    I think a first date should be chilled and trying to know each other by being yourself. Is good to try and impress someone but try are not change yourself just to have a perfect first date.

  13. Aline Llombart

    I think… that first dates are as exciting as stressful for both parties. To find out how to talk and behave towards your date might take more than 5 minutes. In my opinion, and I’m just an example of millions, touching should be a rare action happening on first dates. Not only because your date might not like it, it could also trigger the hoped for spark in between you two. And of course you want to keep her or him keen. I personally really don’t like 1st dates, but that might be because I had mostly bad ones. And I’m not saying it was always the other ones fault.
    *please excuse my grammar – i’m not english*

  14. Joshua Lusembo

    you should keep it cool and casual not to over do it on a first date, keep it relaxed but eventful in some cases, but overall a quiet drink or a cinema and a meal will do will win the night.

  15. Joshua Lusembo

    I think a first date should be easy and chilled out, because your both getting two know and your breaking the ice between you two, to what ever activity your doing for example, bowling,cinema a dinner and drink a nice little places to go on first dates, so there should no failures or faults on that note.

  16. Anna Hazell

    100% liking ‘don’t be a twat’. aha. I have been with my boyfriend a year in March and our first date was so lovely. Treating me right, asking his friends what clothes to wear and dropping me home. I would add don’t be on your phone, make eye contact and make it all about her.,,A x

  17. Jessica Welford

    All i can say is not every girl is the same and if you like the girl enough to ask her on a date, she must have something in common with you? So i believe there isn’t a right or wrong first date. Obviously don’t present yourself in a ridiculous way but also don’t drift from who you are either, she said yes for a reason so don’t go pulling out that outfit you haven’t worn in years.. chances are she likes your jeans and casual top?
    Ask about her family ask about her friends, she wants to know your interested in what matters. I agree it shouldn’t be an interview but use this time wisely, because you have the potential to make a great friend or something more.. but don’t drift from who you are or your wasting both your times?
    Don’t set the standards to what can’t be maintained.. as she will notice this and yes the first date may go great but she’ll know and think something is wrong if you forget to pull her seat out just because the first date you did.. don’t start what you can’t maintain!

  18. Olympia Lyon

    I think a first date needs to be comfortable and just go with the flow relaxing be yourself, i agree with the romantic touches!!

  19. Steph Dean

    I think that first dates are important and so try to make it as relaxed as possible and do something fun instead of a meal which can be quite intense

  20. atul prabhakar

    I think…Even if she offers, insist on paying for the date — especially if you initiated the date in the first place. As a couple, you’ll figure out how to split and cover bills later. But for now, pick up the check

  21. Georgiana Visan

    Every girl likes a romantinc guy but don’t try to impress her too much.. It’s more important to be yourself cause in the end love comes naturally.. 🙂

  22. Rida HTITI

    I think : If you want to win girl’s heart you must be Honest and polite also do not lie .

  23. Claire Ironside

    First dates should be less about impressing and more about showing your potential partner how much fun they will have if they peruse a relationship with you, a meal and a movie is all very nice but how many people can really act like themself in a situation like that.

  24. Hana Hitchman

    Honestly, as long as you are yourself it shouldn’t matter. If you have to keep up a charade for her to like you then there’s no point. Be you and be respectful.

  25. Ilja Ognestsikov

    I actually think that there is nothing bad in talking all the time. Not in the way as is described above- by asking irrelevant questions, but by joking sharing opinions and bla,bla,bla… The point is, that when you keep silent it becomes boring and then it is even more difficult to start or conversation, so the longer you don’t talk, the less chances you have for at least one night stand. May be stupid question would even help you out here, so I would not be that flat