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Articles > Relationships March, 20, 2016

Yes My Best Friend Is A Boy. No, I’m Not Sleeping With Him.

Jasmine Blackwell
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Like most nineteen-year-old girls, I have a best friend who I trust with my life. A person I can open up to, a person who makes me laugh until I cry and a person I can most definitely rely on. They are, arguably, my favourite person in the world. However, there is one difference between my best friend and those of most other nineteen-year-old girls. My best friend is a boy.

girl and boy best friend

Photo by Joshua Rothhaas

Now, I know what you’re thinking: shock! Horror! Is nothing sacred anymore?! Won’t somebody think of the children!

Alright, that may be a little facetious. I know I’m not the first person to have a best friend of another gender and I surely won’t be the last. Yet I have been bombarded with the same question so many times that you’d think a friendship between a boy and girl had never existed before:

“So are you guys a thing now?”

Of course, the questions aren’t the difficult part – they’re simply the beginning. The worst part is the childish rumours. Someone swears they saw us holding hands in the school corridors. Another heard we’d been snogging while waiting for a ride home. One person even claims to have heard from a friend of a friend that we’re sleeping together. None of it true, but all of it believed.

To quote one of my favourite films, Network: ‘I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore’.

It’s the 21st century, for crying out loud! We are lucky enough to be living in both a privileged and progressive society and, for the most part, I cannot complain. Looking at how far we have advanced over the last few decades is something that certainly restores one’s faith in humanity, however the fact that the idea of a platonic friendship still baffles people frustrates me. Of course, this does not apply to everyone, only to a small minority of the population, those who refuse to consider a relationship between a man and woman not involving sex.

boy and girl just friends

Don’t just assume we’re in a relationship. Have an open mind…

These are the people who conjure up the silly rumours and would rather spread gossip than try to understand something as simple and innocent as a friendship between two people of opposing genders.

“we live in such a sex-obsessed society that people can’t just accept the existence of platonic love between a guy and a girl”

The fact is, I love my best friend like I love my brother – heck, a lot of the time I like him a whole lot more than my brother. I find it upsetting that people refuse to see this, and it’s disheartening to think that we live in such a sex-obsessed society that people can’t just accept the existence of platonic love between a guy and a girl.

I would like to believe that, one day, those short-sighted individuals will be able to catch up with the rest of society and come to terms with friendships such as mine and my best friend’s. One day, hopefully we will no longer have to feel awkward about being friendly in public. One day, we won’t have to justify ourselves simply because of other people’s outdated social opinions. One day, the rumours will stop and my best friend and I will finally just be friends.

Is anyone else in the same position and feeling the same frustration? Comment below!

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  1. Shannon-Georgia Shoreman

    Of course girls and boys can be friends without being romantically or sexually involved. My best friend is a boy, he is gay, this assuming that boys and girls can’t be friends and nothing more is extremely heteronormative as well as just stupid.

  2. Téa

    I think this is too accurate, especially for those of us at school. It seems that we are unable to be friends with the other gender without being judged or criticised. It needs to be normalised to just be friends with someone and to not be judged for it.

  3. Leah Robson

    I agree strongly that there is nothing wrong with having a male best friend. I have exactly the same problem, people often find it hard to accept that opposite sex friendships can exist without a sexual relationship

  4. Edigbe Prisca

    I think..There is nothing wrong with having a male best friend…..

  5. Carla Foley

    Of course girls and boys can be best friends. I had a best friend for years and he was a boy. Nothing sexual about it, I think people just assume that if a male and female are close that something has to be going on?

  6. Ollie Green

    I think…
    OF course boys and girls can be friends! my best friend is a girl – and has been for the past 10 years! she is the only person who doesn’t annoy me, and i really fell like i can open up to her about anything at all. I have a girlfriend, and some people think it’s weird that i am so close with another girl, but i don’t see it as any different to any friendships i would have with another guy! i understand your frustration, you are not the only one!1

  7. Summer

    Most of my friends are males, i prefer it that way i find the, so much easier to get on with I think…

  8. Ozan S�nmez

    Good for both of you. This is showing the humanity that is possible to be a only friend. People should change their minds and accept this think.

  9. Jasmine

    Hey, I have been friends with a lot of different people too and there will always be someone who will be looking for a rumor to spread. It used to bother me at first but after a while I realized it really doesn’t matter. All people can do is just form thoughts in their minds and if you let those thoughts get to you, you will never be happy and will always find some reason to be unsatisfied so you should just accept that nothing is perfect. Don’t let other people’s opinions control your feelings.

  10. Scott Bishop

    I think… girls and boys can be friends because in my friendship group I have two best friends that are girls and we don’t do anything together only chat and speak about the world and our feelings.

  11. chalsea masuwa

    I think…girls and boys can e friends without having sex because they might understand each other on a more intellectual level than a sexual level

  12. Leah Andreasen

    I agree girls and boys can be friends without anything happening, in my friendship group there is half girls and half boys and we all get along fine without anyone liking anyone. I think it’s important to have a relationship with the opposite sex that isn’t just romantic.

  13. Aimee Doherty

    I totally agree with you. I have a boy best friend too but I have a boyfriend also. Some people find that so weird, but personally, it’s just like having a girl best friend, only better. People need to understand that you can have a best friend, girl or boy. IT DOES NOT MATTER.

  14. Roberth Ponce

    I partially agree, but most of my friends who started well ended up on the bed, so many is really frustrating not decide whether he sees you as a friend and not become something more in the future…

  15. Chafik Hanafi

    I totally agree with you .. (y)
    having a girl-bestfriend doesn’t make her a gf, besides, it’s all about the feelings we share toward us. She’s a female yes and I found her more amazing & more trusty than any other boys/girls I’ve met in my life. Too bad, ’cause our society is such a sex-obsessed but I’m ready to stand up and fight against that because simply there’s nothing bad if a boy has a girl-bestfriend or the opposite. Such a good article really !

  16. RAMSHARAN MEENA

    I AGREE WITH YOU …..

  17. Peter Ashton

    I agree with you so much. My best friend is a girl and we’ve been best friends since we were both four. Despite the fact that people claim it is impossible for a guy and a girl to be friends without being sexually interested in the other on some level, we have absolutely zero interest in each other in any way, shape or form. I have never desired to sleep with her or even hug her, the thought just weirds me out… also I’m 100% positive this is true for her as well, since I know for a fact she had a crush on this other guy we were friends with from the time we were about 5 until about 11, and after that crush faded away, with a bit of a break in the middle, she’s been dating a different guy (who is also my best friend) for about 7 years now. Although it doesn’t happen as much as it used to, I always get super frustrated when people refused to believe such a relationship is possible. I will admit, with the vast majority of other girls I am friends with, there will have been some point at which I have wondered about the possibility of having a relationship with them. However, I have never even thought of it with the friend in question, perhaps this is simply because I’ve known her for so long? Maybe I subconsciously think of her more as a sister than a friend…

  18. David Astill

    Yeah my best friend is a girl and people have apparently been saying that we’ve slept together when I haven’t even see her house and she hasn’t been to mine so how does that work I ask..?!

  19. Natalia Sulkowska

    I totally agree. I think that celebrities have a big influence on young people. For example, Rihanna’s lyrics and music videos can be very sexual and so from little kids are being exposed to sexual behaviour. Therefore, it is not suprising that people think that a man and a woman cannot be friends. In the end everybody thinks that there must be some sexual relationship between them!

  20. Kaveri Kumar

    i totally go with you.. i have like sooo many boy best friends and i am close to them as close as i am with my girl best friends.. but the judgemental society!!! they always see a boy and a girl from the boyfriend girlfriend point of view.. its irritating, very irritating..