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Articles > Relationships May, 31, 2016

Should You Stop Your Mates In The Club?

Sophie Corcoran
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We all have that one friend who goes a bit overboard on a night out and seems to get with EVERYONE. Which is fine, that’s their prerogative, but what do you do when it’s a friend who isn’t usually like that? Or when it gets annoying and you want them to stop? Should it even concern you in the first place? I found out how people deal with their promiscuous pals…

Boy and girl being slutty in a club

Photo by Tom Godber

I’ve had a few friends who go through phases of acting more ‘slutty’ than usual on a night out. Hell, I’ve done it myself. You can usually spot the signs quite early. In my group of friends, if they are going to be more ‘slutty’ then I can usually tell from the outset (pre-drinks) how the night is going to pan out: usually the person’s eyes are already rolling and their voice is just that little bit too loud.

But if it’s not their usual behaviour then there could be something wrong beneath all of the bravado. They could have had a bad day, gone through a bad break up… or they could just be drunk. I’ve found that the last two are usually the reasons why they seem more flirtatious, even with the 50 year old bouncer who they’d never give a second glance.

More than once, our group has been in the position where it has happened because someone has been through a bad break-up. I’m more likely to try and stop it if they’re really drunk because they can be taken advantage of and not really know what’s going on. But if they’ve been through a bad break up, and aren’t completely legless, I tend to leave them to it. Sometimes, if you’ve been in a close relationship for a while you need to get it out your system, and what harm is getting on a few people going to do really?

Some people agree and think it’s always best to leave your friends to their own devices:

Shannon Busby, 18, said:“Unless my friend is paralytic I’ll leave her to it. But to be honest on the occasions where she can’t walk she won’t listen and we’ll fall out so sometimes it’s not even worth it. When you’re both drunk and arguing she will probably just get worse to annoy you”.

Laura Kelly, 21, said: “If my friend was being overly slutty I’d definitely tell her to stop it. It can be embarrassing for both of you. If she wasn’t usually like that I’d be a bit concerned too”.

It’s not just girls who can get a bit carried away either. Many times I’ve heard my flatmates moaning about their friends getting with countless girls on nights out. I asked them what guys would do if their friends were acting slutty on a night out; would they take a similar approach to girls, or would they leave them to get on with it?

David McLaughlin, 23, said: “It depends on the person, if one of your more outgoing mates was acting like that then it’s just standard isn’t it? But if it was one of my more conservative mates who’d drunk too much or was in a bad mood I’d probably be on the defensive”.

Dave’s flatmate, Alex Dixon, 20, said: “If it were one of my friends who was really drunk and didn’t usually act like that then I’d stop them. Otherwise I’d leave it and mention it and have a laugh about it the next day”.

The boys’ opinions seem to match the girls’. Overall, if your friend’s too drunk, in a bad mood or not usually like that, then the best port of call is to try and stop them. Personally, I’d still try and help them even when it’s likely that it would end in an argument. I’ve had arguments when drunk with friends about a kebab, but getting a kebab isn’t as important as your friend being safe. Leaving them to it, especially if they’re drunk, could lead to them being taking advantage of – and that’s a worse thing to wake up to than you calling your friend out on being slutty.

 

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  1. Alexia Irakleous

    I think there is nothing wrong in getting carried away from time to time…having a good time is not a bad thing…

  2. Chelsea Peter

    If my friend was acting like this, it would be completely abnormal. I am not a drinker, and my closest friends are not either. I would never let any of my friends get to a point where they could be taken advantage of, especially without thinking, because it is just not who they are as people; I would want to protect them. No, we cannot control people, but we can attempt to keep them safe if we need to. If a friend was constantly like that I would probably leave them to it unless I had a bad feeling about the guy they were heading after. Overall thoug, behaviour like that from my friends would just worry and embarrass me; I would never let anything get too far.

  3. atul shukla

    I think…yes because this situation is waste of lot of time and money

  4. Savannah Mountain

    As long as she doesn’t have a boyfriend, and is having a good time under a watchful eye.. What harm can it do?

  5. Amy Lewis

    It depends on the friend and the guy she is being slutty with. If its a friend thats not normally slutty but knows the guy then i would leave her to it, if it’s a stranger then no – girl needs a talking to!. If its a girl thats a slut then yeh just leave her to it. its the norm for some people

  6. Michelle Duffy

    I have a couple friends like this, and at the end of the day, as long as they are safe about the whole thing then it’s really not my place to step in. I will always get the person they are talking to, to join our group so my friend dosent walk off with a complete stranger, I also make sure to get texts from her throughout the rest of the night and the next morning to assure her safety.
    once in a while this is fine, however if you have a friend who is going out every weekend or even every night, then the problem is deeper and needs attention before something bad happens. although the night off or in the moment is never the right time to have that conversation, lets face it, you will get a better conversation from your dog vs arguing with a drunk person, if you think your friend has a problem create a safe space raise your concerns with them and make sure they know its coming from a loving place, angry never helps this kind of situation.
    I’d say ” random hook ups” are ok once a month, if that’s your cup of tea, again, just be safe about it.

  7. Sumit Nath

    I think… it’s all right. Drink is not bad at all. You should keep loving each other

  8. Marcelina

    I think if the person thinks they are ready for it then they are free to do it as long as they know the consequences

  9. Joseph Azzab

    I think..getting laid with the person you love, have a crush on, or even like is a very fun experience but the thing is… When should you ask for that or step into that or is this person the right person or not

  10. Hannah Martin

    I think everyone get carried away. Let her be

  11. shahrukh saleem

    I think boys drink more as compared to girls….