I recently started seeing a guy who’s completely mad about football. He watches all the games, has all the shirts, the scarves, everything – so I figured: seeing as he does loads of really sweet things for me, why don’t I do something sweet for him and learn to like football? Well, when I say learn to like it, I mean learn to fake certain things so he THINKS you are interested. I feel this is something other partners should embrace, so here are a few crucial steps to maintain the football fan façade…
Step 1: Learn the offside rule Apparently it’s important and unfortunately it’s also rather complicated; it differs depending on what source you find and who you ask. The way I see it is this: a player is in an offside position if, when the ball is played by a team-mate, they are nearer to the opposition’s goal line than both the ball and the second-to-last opponent. This is crucial, your boyfriend will go mad if his team doesn’t get a goal because a player was offside (and so should you).
Step 2: Wear his football shirt Wearing this when you watch a game together has two advantages for you. One, he will think that you actually paid attention on that first date when he poured his heart out to you about “the best team ever!” (whether you did or not). Two, he will probably think that you look super sexy and you might be lucky enough to skip the game and get straight to the after party.
Step 3: Get excited when his (well, your) team are near the goal It may sound simple but if you react to the game as it is happening then he will think you are paying full attention and are completely enthralled by the match. Just make sure you remember which end of the pitch is the right end!
Step 4: Learn some of the players’ names You probably only need to know five: the goal keeper, the captain, a striker, a midfielder, and a defender. My tip for learning these is to watch one game to start with and see who the commentators mention the most often. These players are probably the ones who are the biggest contributors, and so are likely to be in most games.
Step 5: Find out when your team are playing next When you know, ask your guy if he wants to watch it together. This will make him think that you are genuinely engaged in the sport because you know which matches are coming up. You may have even remembered when he didn’t – meaning extra brownie points for you!
If you do all of this, then your guy will be thrilled that you’re taking an interest in the sport he loves. You never know, you might actually start to like the game and it could become one of those things you do as a couple. On the other hand, you can trade in your efforts in exchange for activities that you like, such as romantic picnics in the park and sunset walks.
All in all, you will be doing a lovely thing for your guy and that should be a reward in itself.