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Articles > Sex & Relationships July, 25, 2016

Can Tinder Lead To A Serious Relationship?

July, 25, 2016

Vanese Maddix Student Panel member. Member since March 2012.
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Like many other people my age, I’ve been hit by the wonderful (and, at times, not so wonderful) world of Internet dating. Gone are the old-fashioned days of bumping into ‘the one’ in real life and realising it was love at first sight—or perhaps that was only ever in 1950s romcoms. Tinder is particularly popular, but I find myself asking time and time again whether it’s possible to enter a happy relationship with someone you’ve met through an app.

I’ve been on and off Tinder for just over a year now, and to say some of my experiences have been rather interesting would be an understatement. I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into when I joined—I just knew it was a dating app that really seemed to be blowing up. I wasn’t particularly fond of judging people based on pictures alone, but I downloaded the app nonetheless.

For a while, guys were really nice. I got stuck into a few conversations and there was no pressure whatsoever. As time went on, the odd guy would ask if I was interested in going for a drink, though at this point meeting in person wasn’t something I was particularly keen on. I continued to use the app for two or three months before deleting it.

Fast-forward a few months down the line: now in my first year at university, it seemed as if everyone around me was getting into relationships. I started to hear all these stories about a friend of a friend who had gone for a few drinks with a guy from Tinder and now they were looking at holidays together. I was definitely a little jealous, so it was back to the app store, armed with a bunch of hot new selfies and ready to find my own Prince Charming . . . or so I’d hoped.

The guys I matched with were sending vulgar messages like “You DTF?” or “Has anyone ever told you you’ve got great lips for giving a blowjob?”

Tinder seemed to have changed an insane amount since I’d last used it. Although I was getting more matches, the guys seemed different. It was like all the sweet guys that had once been known to roam around the app had turned into horny little wild animals. More and more frequently, the guys I matched with were sending vulgar messages like “You DTF (down to f***)?” or “Has anyone ever told you you’ve got great lips for giving a blowjob?”

The worst of all are guys who refer to my skin colour. It still shocks me how often it happens;

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only recently a guy said “I’ve never slept with a black girl, am I missing out? I feel like I am.” Obviously I shut him down right then because FYI someone’s skin colour does not make the sex any different, but it’s shocking how many guys think this is acceptable to ever say to someone. Comments like these are what really make me believe Tinder can never be for more than people just looking to hook up.

I did, however, have a ‘I could see a relationship coming out of this’ moment back in January. A guy and me randomly hit it off over a mutual like for Marketing. We talked and talked and I couldn’t help but feel like something really special was blossoming; we eventually met up and it was just as great as I’d hoped it would be. Sadly it’s no longer, but it was an experience that’s made me not rule out the idea of dating someone from Tinder. One of my friends is also now in a relationship with someone she’s met through the app, so I guess I can’t keep thinking everyone’s just in it for the sex.

I feel like in the UK we’re big on ‘hook-up culture’, and I know people will always be into hook-ups, but I’d like to think that in the future Tinder will become a platform for more serious relationships. I know the app probably won’t change drastically, but hopefully it won’t be as difficult for a relationship to come out of it—if that’s what you’re looking for. However, Tinder culture isn’t for everyone, and meeting a partner offline is something I’d like to hope people will ultimately revert back to.

 


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  1. Jess
    July 28, 2016 at 9:11 am

    After reluctantly joining the app and a couple of weeks of swiping I honestly found the love of my life. We’ve been together for just over a year now and couldn’t be happier. You just have to stick to your guns and push through until you find a genuine, decent person. They are out there trust me.

  2. Jack Davies
    July 29, 2016 at 9:39 am

    I’ll admit I went on tinder originally just to have a look about, meet a few random girls have a few hook ups etc but I actually ended up talking to this awesome girl. We’ve been going out for 5 months now and I’ve deleted the app cos I don’t want anyone else.

  3. Sarah
    July 26, 2016 at 10:11 pm

    I met my fiancé on tinder three years ago. I live with him and his now 9 year old son, so it can happen! But I did have one tinder match claim he wished he was a fart so he could ‘slip in between my arse cheeks’, so swings and roundabouts!

  4. Sam
    July 25, 2016 at 5:26 pm

    I met my lovely girlfriend of nearly 3 months on tinder having spent the majority of my 2nd year at uni dating lots. I’d say from my perspective you will find what you intend to find on tinder be it a short term fling or a long term relationship, you can usually work out what people’s intentions are due to the straight up and immediate nature of it. From a guy’s perspective, if you don’t act like a total dick you can meet some really nice people and if you’re lucky enough, someone who you’d like to be with for a long time. For me, also, tinder dating was a great confidence booster and very helpful at allowing you to find your type. I’m so grateful to tinder as I’d never have met my girlfriend otherwise as we’re from different and distant towns (within the search radius of course 😉 ).

  5. Name
    September 19, 2016 at 5:13 pm

    Met my boyfriend a year and a half ago on Tinder. We’re still together

  6. Meeca
    August 17, 2016 at 7:31 pm

    I completely agree that tinder has changed into a place where it’s harder to filter out the offensive people and those just looking for a cheap hookup. Having said that I have managed to meet a lot of lovely people on tinder, who I’m friends with a few of now even though it didn’t work out romantically. I also met THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, he’s Nigerian and safe to say I would never have met it him as we didn’t even live in the same city, and ultimately not the same country! We just happened to cross into each other’s radius whilst he was visiting my city. Neither of us really new what we were looking for but at 22 and 26 we really found love in the best relationship of our lives. So my advice is just take more time to get to know the people on there and hopefully you’ll find what I did!

  7. Pippa
    December 23, 2016 at 11:00 pm

    I’m with a guy I met on the app and we’ve been together over a year now. I couldn’t imagine life without him. Obviously I was lucky but it does happen.

  8. Osob
    September 16, 2016 at 5:16 pm

    I think tinder is aiming for people that are not looking for serious relationships because some guys would tell me where to go meet them and I would go on Google map to check it out but it always ends up being their home address.

  9. Fran Moreland
    September 13, 2016 at 4:18 pm

    I personally have tried tinder amongst many other apps available. For me, I didn’t find the “one” . However, I have recently attended a wedding of a couple who have been together for 3 years and have a child together also. You guessed it… They met on tinder!

  10. Abigail Biggs
    September 12, 2016 at 10:32 pm

    I have never used Tinder in a serious way. The only times I’ve really used it are when I’m with friends and we look through the app together, sharing our opinions on profiles etc, but I normally delete it soon after. So maybe I’m not the one to judge. I don’t know that many couples who met through this app, but if you fancy giving it a go you should. One of my old friends met her boyfriend on Tinder and they’ve been together for a while now. They seem really happy and are planning to move in together sometime soon. I’ve talked to girls on Tinder who seemed really nice and even if we hardly ever talk after a while, I still consider it a good experience and I’ve made some cool friends. However, it does seem that a lot of people use to app just for hook ups etc. Judging people based on a couple of pictures and a tiny bit of information isn’t really my cup of tea, but it seems there are some success stories out there so if you’re looking for something serious you might just have to spend some time digging around for that first.

  11. Emma Dobson
    September 7, 2016 at 10:15 pm

    Just over a year ago i joined this app. I think it’s fair to say after many weeks of swiping, as well as endless conversations with numerous guys, i finally found a decent guy. After a few days of talking we decided to met in person which went better than expected seen as its coming up to a year since we started dating.

  12. deniz arikoglu
    September 7, 2016 at 9:52 pm

    The truth is most guys go on there to find a `1 night stand` and from personal experience the app can provide just that, as most are just looking for a bit of fun with no strings attached. Who knows if you like the company of that person you guys just might have a healthy relationship. Me personally haven’t really given the app enough attention to say i haven’t been successful, i pop on every now and then and swipe.

  13. Sal�m� Petetin Benchehida
    September 7, 2016 at 9:50 pm

    I think…. Definitely yes.
    I met my current boyfriend on tinder and it’s been 1.5 years now. We are from France and we’re coming to study in London together !
    By the way I wouldn’t have met him without Tinder (we don’t live in the same city) and now we can’t live if we’re not together haha
    We are 18

  14. Octavia Joynes
    September 7, 2016 at 4:03 pm

    Of course it can lead to a serious relationship, if that’s what both parties want. It’s just the same as if you met someone in the ‘real world’ it won’t always lead to a serious relationship either

  15. maddie holden
    September 7, 2016 at 3:38 pm

    Crazy as it sounds, I was unaware I even had a profile on the app for a couple of months. Finally my friends decided to share the joke with me. Being newly single from a 2 year relationship I wasn’t looking/wanting anything serious. The app allowed me to talk to new people around my area and yeah it was a good laughs. Out of the blue I met a guy on there that changed my world…over 6 months together and I couldn’t be happier ☺️ THANKS TINDER!

  16. Cassie
    September 7, 2016 at 12:54 pm

    Well, I met my husband on Tinder, so I would think so!
    However, I am a mature student and therefore the men that I met through Tinder were, at a minimum, 30 years old. Whilst 30+ year old men are not exempt from being total fuckboys, I expect it’s better than the situation with men in their 20s or, god help you, their teens.

  17. Ella Moody
    September 6, 2016 at 5:57 pm

    I think with online dating you miss out on the real chemistry of relationships and that “butterflies in stomach ” feeling .

  18. Josh
    September 6, 2016 at 3:47 pm

    Tinder can lead to a serious relationship, I went out of a toxic relationship and was genuinely lost, so I downloaded the app, much to a few unfortunate dates and wasted money I managed to find the love of my life, nearly ten months down the line we’re still together, she’s in third and I’m just starting my first year. Stick to your guns, you’ll find your soulmate. Trust me.

  19. Queen A
    September 6, 2016 at 5:55 am

    Sometimes guys like to test girls like a friend of mine, her match asked her if she’s on tinder for sex and she’s like “HELL NO!!!!!” then the guy said “Finally!! Now you’re my girlfriend”. Happy ending!

  20. Azam Sarwar
    September 5, 2016 at 6:18 pm

    from what i have seen it looks like an app for fooling around on and shouldn’t be taken seriously, i personally dont have tinder, so i could be totally wrong. it effectively is what facebook used to be, which was a website that began out on judging people based on looks and rating them. in the future it could progress in to something better.

  21. Peter Richardson
    September 5, 2016 at 3:16 pm

    I think… it can be hit and miss with tinder, you can get people who will be very sexual and inappropriate which is a big down side, but also you can find some pretty decent people who actually are just nice, you probably can find love on tinder but you got to be lucky.

  22. Debbie Kyle
    September 3, 2016 at 11:02 pm

    I met my partner on an online flirt site. After becoming homeless due to abusive ex partner I really wasnt looking for anything. I then met my soul mate and best friend rolled in2 one. He took his time and eventually won my trust. We have been together for 7 years now and have a perfect 5 year old little girl. Regardless of where u meet someone after the 1st few dates u will know by how they treat you and if theres chemistry then go for it. U cant find someone if u dont put yourself out there 🙂

  23. rebecca ward
    September 3, 2016 at 2:25 pm

    I completely agree with you on the swiping just by looks! I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months now and I never thought a tinder meet up could lead to this. I feel like I have known him my whole life. But that doesn’t mean that you find him straight away, I have met many guy who seemed perfect and ended up not being.

  24. Sarah Patuck
    August 31, 2016 at 1:43 pm

    I joined a dating app called Badoo and met a lovely guy on there, but a month later he ended up cheating on me when I went on holiday. I’d honestly say that online dating just creates more nerves, especially when you meet them! You’re hiding behind a profile, whereas in person it’s just natural. I much prefer meeting someone face to face instead of over a message but I have used Tinder and only found ass holes who want nudes and are rude and verbally abusive and not worth the time.

  25. Gillian Jackson
    August 31, 2016 at 12:24 am

    A guess it’s down to luck, I mean u get th guys who are nice for like 5minutes and then there asking for nudes and your like mate no!

  26. Nat
    August 22, 2016 at 1:13 pm

    I met my boyfriend on tinder in February and it’s now August and we’re going strong as far as I’m aware. Had some pretty horrible experiences in my past when it comes to tinder etc. so he was a huge shock to me. We’ve already been away together and I went away to teach for 3 and a half weeks and we’re still strong as ever and actually planning out next trip away!

    I don’t think tinder should be knocked as just a hook up site but to be fair, there are alot of guys and girls out there looking for only one thing. You have to kiss a hundred frogs before you find your prince 😉

  27. Evzy
    August 17, 2016 at 9:57 am

    To be fair, I didn’t think I’d find anything serious but I found someone amazing I’ve been with for almost two years now! Of course, from my experience, the vast majority are just on there to try and get laid and pie off.

  28. emmerson tucker
    August 15, 2016 at 5:53 am

    I have been with my boyfriend for 11 months now, and we met on tinder.
    Tinder relationships do start of wiith some distrust as you get to know the person . but its mutual, the feeling of “is he still on tinder while with me” lingers but not for long. Tinder has become a great new platform for people to meet, instead of milk bars or dance nights,like it was back when out parents were younger. I think they really cna work and maybe even better then normal relationships, i kknow i swiped right cause we had alot in common, i didnt just go up to someone cuas ei thought they were hot !! 🙂

  29. Rebecca Wemyss
    August 12, 2016 at 8:17 pm

    I had some good dates through tinder who never called me back and some awful ones who I never called back. In the end I decided I should take the lead and ask out someone who I felt drawn to. And I fell in love with him. We’ve been together for over a year and I’ve found that more and more people I know are meeting their partners through apps/online. I wasn’t looking for a relationship when I joined Tinder – as I imagine many people aren’t, but every so often someone will come along who changes your mind about everything. That’s just my experience!

  30. Amy Roe
    August 12, 2016 at 10:06 am

    I met my current boyfriend as a Tinder hook-up. Neither of us were actually looking for anything more than sex at the time, but it just kinda worked out. Not that I’m complaining, of course.

  31. avanendra singh
    August 11, 2016 at 11:11 am

    I think…online dating is not that much better. Sometimes it will give u the right choice but not always. u will have to also be aware that it could not make for a serious date

  32. sg
    August 2, 2016 at 8:32 pm

    Its hard to meet a guy via a app because they could act completely different offlline.

  33. Emily
    July 29, 2016 at 11:15 pm

    I think…most lads are on tinder for the usual type of “fun”; sexting and nudes

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