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Articles > Sex & Relationships December, 05, 2016

How To Win At Long Distance Relationships

December, 05, 2016

Vicky Hunt Student Panel member. Member since January 2014.
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If for some inexplicable reason the universe decides to make you fall in love with someone who lives hours away, or that the love of your life is going to be separated from you by hundreds of miles to go to a different university, then don’t worry. Just because you’re unable to see each other every day doesn’t mean that the relationship has to end.

long distance couple hugging goodbye at trainstation

Not seeing them for long periods of time is hard, but here’s what you can do to help that…

It takes a lot to make any relationship work, and that’s even without the difficulty and frustration of living far apart. It’s undeniable that a long distance relationship is hard and emotionally testing, but there are loads of things you can do to keep the spark alight.

Here are just 5 things that I’ve found work well to keep a long distance relationship going:

1. Trust.
It’ll get so easy to become frustrated with one another when you’re apart – especially if you’re around to talk when your partner isn’t, or vice versa. So the main thing you need in a long-distance relationship is trust. It’s okay for you or your partner to hang with friends (even those of another sex) and to not text or call 24/7. You have to trust that your partner is still thinking about you, even if they’re not around to talk every moment of the day.

2. Video call.
It’s always a good idea to find a time when you’re both around to talk and catch up properly by video calling. Trust me, it somehow makes all the difference being able to see each other’s faces while chatting rather than just speaking on the phone. Even if you think you look a mess, just do it – they’re your significant other, they’ll still love you!

3. Arrange to meet.
Setting a date to look forward to each month or so where you can see each other in person will give both of you something to look forward to and work towards. I try and make sure to arrange to meet once a month for a weekend with my boyfriend. We have got loads of exciting things planned for the next couple of months and I really can’t wait.

4. Send post!
Who doesn’t love receiving parcels? Post isn’t as outdated as you might think when it comes to making your partner feel special. Sending care packages and letters is a really cute way to make sure your partner knows they’re loved and you’re not forgetting about them.

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5. Skype movie dates.
Watch something on Netflix together whilst skyping/video calling! But remember to mute yourselves if you don’t want the annoying background noise to interrupt the film. It’s basically the same as watching a film in the same room and still counts as “spending time together”, even though you can’t cuddle.

My Experience
My boyfriend and I go to the same university, but after 8 months of practically living together and spending a maximum of 6 hours apart at any one time, we are now 200 miles apart and see each other once a month if we’re lucky. We’ve both started our placement years closer to our own homes, so we are officially separated by over 200 miles for 14 months – which is longer than we’ve even been together. We’re following very different career paths, experiencing very different things, and it’d be easy to think “this is way too much effort” and end the relationship. But there’s one important thing: we love each other, so we’re not going to let distance take its toll. We’re going to make it work.

I’ve seen that absence definitely does make the heart grow fonder. I’ve found that being apart really makes you value the time that you do get to spend together, and appreciate each other more. Use these tips and find out what works for you, and most importantly do not give up on your relationship because of distance!

 


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  1. Adnana
    December 5, 2016 at 7:47 pm

    I think trust is a key point in this because without trust nothing can work out well

  2. Harrison
    December 7, 2016 at 9:44 pm

    Wondeful article! I think that the main thing you need is determination, things can be hard at times just like any relationship and people around you may not exactly understand.

    • Vicky
      December 9, 2016 at 3:58 pm

      That’s true – It can be more difficult if your friends/family aren’t supportive, or they don’t quite understand the difficulties that you might be facing. The key thing to have in that situation is good communication 🙂

  3. Joe
    January 11, 2017 at 8:35 pm

    these are great and relatable points

  4. Elana
    January 31, 2017 at 9:55 pm

    This is an amazing article, I’m currently in a long distance relationship and have been for the last three years and all of these points are so true! I wish I would’ve found an article like this for when I first started out my relationship; it would have helped a lot! 🙂

    • Catherine
      February 4, 2017 at 12:49 am

      Agree with your comment completely! Been with my boyfriend for two years now, its funny how relateable the points are. Some ups and downs trying to find what works to maintain us being us but it makes you stronger as a couple, I guess

  5. Lora
    January 27, 2017 at 9:30 am

    I think that all this advice is good. I have the same relationship problem. It is hard to save our relationship when we have a big distance between us, but it is possible. Love is the most powerful feeling in the world. We have phone conversations every day, chat in messenger and have Skype dates. Sex is really important for a relationship, but if you love somebody you will wait.

  6. Uriel Romero
    January 11, 2017 at 9:42 pm

    Absolutely agree! My girlfriend lives 300 miles from here, but watching movies together is something I’ve never thought of. Its difficult sometimes :c

  7. Maria
    January 6, 2017 at 5:19 am

    The article has all the keypoints to keep a long distance relatioship alive. Long distance relationships can be really hard but with details and exciting plans a couple can make it work!

  8. Jess
    February 4, 2017 at 10:32 am

    I think…this article is great! So relatable and realistic to what a long term relationship is really like!

  9. Bells
    February 3, 2017 at 3:00 pm

    This is so true, my partner has recently moved away after living together for four years. It’s hard but can be done!

  10. nirav
    February 3, 2017 at 10:59 am

    I think that all this advice is good. I have the same relationship problem. It is hard to save our relationship when we have a big distance between us, but it is possible. Love is the most powerful feeling in the world. We have phone conversations every day, chat in messenger and have Skype dates. Sex is really important for a relationship, but if you love somebody you will wait….

  11. Tafara
    February 2, 2017 at 9:59 pm

    This is a very helpful article
    I love my boyfriend so much and would hate it if me going to university ruined our relationship

  12. Fisayo Olagundoye
    February 2, 2017 at 7:19 pm

    I think loyalty, trust and commitment to the relationship will keep it going

  13. Niall
    February 1, 2017 at 4:03 pm

    Being in a long distanced relationship myself, trust doesnt just apply to gendered situations. I’m in a homosexual long distanced relationship myself, so male/female contact isnt really an issue.
    Ideally, a good article!

  14. Kenza
    January 31, 2017 at 5:35 pm

    this was very good advice

  15. Humairaa
    January 30, 2017 at 9:57 pm

    Love the tips!!

  16. Leila
    January 30, 2017 at 5:09 am

    Good article

  17. Galya
    January 28, 2017 at 2:51 pm

    I am in a long distance relationship too and it is definitely worth it!

  18. Ashish
    January 27, 2017 at 7:37 pm

    I think… its difficult

  19. Hong
    January 27, 2017 at 2:50 am

    I think…Nice article. I am also experiencing a long distance relationship. It really makes me suffer a lot, but video call is really useful for me to not suffer so much.

  20. Katerina
    January 26, 2017 at 8:36 am

    I agree
    Trust and setting a date to look forward to each month are the main tips you should follow and also make Video-call whenever possible. You have to know that this relationship is worth it even if you have to sacrifice other things.

  21. Lauren
    January 25, 2017 at 12:53 am

    So true, watching movies together over call is brill. My boyfriend and I do this frequently, it’s such an easy way to feel close, especially if you’ve had a bad day so you’re not in the mood for a long chat.

  22. Indra Caine
    January 24, 2017 at 12:48 am

    This so true but I think the main issue is that if one of the partners can’t trust themselves they’re not going to trust their significant other.

  23. agon
    January 19, 2017 at 12:48 am

    its true i bealive in it so just next ……………..

  24. michelletanoto
    January 8, 2017 at 5:13 am

    I think trust and communication, is the most important part. Oh and don’t forget affection! see each other often! that is the key!

  25. amit
    January 6, 2017 at 4:42 pm

    I think if your love is true you need to trust them first and you should give them some space.

  26. Eilis Hafey
    December 8, 2016 at 3:23 pm

    I’ve been in a long distance relationship before, with a girl on a whole different continent to me! We made sure to keep in contact every day.

    • Vicky
      December 8, 2016 at 6:25 pm

      Aw wow! I bet the different time zones were a challenge? Good for you guys 🙂

  27. Jack 95
    February 2, 2017 at 3:50 pm

    yep long distance relationship is very hard. good story

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