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Articles > Relationships December, 05, 2016

How To Win At Long Distance Relationships

Vicky Hunt
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If for some inexplicable reason the universe decides to make you fall in love with someone who lives hours away, or that the love of your life is going to be separated from you by hundreds of miles to go to a different university, then don’t worry. Just because you’re unable to see each other every day doesn’t mean that the relationship has to end.

long distance couple hugging goodbye at trainstation

Not seeing them for long periods of time is hard, but here’s what you can do to help that…

It takes a lot to make any relationship work, and that’s even without the difficulty and frustration of living far apart. It’s undeniable that a long distance relationship is hard and emotionally testing, but there are loads of things you can do to keep the spark alight.

Here are just 5 things that I’ve found work well to keep a long distance relationship going:

1. Trust.
It’ll get so easy to become frustrated with one another when you’re apart – especially if you’re around to talk when your partner isn’t, or vice versa. So the main thing you need in a long-distance relationship is trust. It’s okay for you or your partner to hang with friends (even those of another sex) and to not text or call 24/7. You have to trust that your partner is still thinking about you, even if they’re not around to talk every moment of the day.

2. Video call.
It’s always a good idea to find a time when you’re both around to talk and catch up properly by video calling. Trust me, it somehow makes all the difference being able to see each other’s faces while chatting rather than just speaking on the phone. Even if you think you look a mess, just do it – they’re your significant other, they’ll still love you!

3. Arrange to meet.
Setting a date to look forward to each month or so where you can see each other in person will give both of you something to look forward to and work towards. I try and make sure to arrange to meet once a month for a weekend with my boyfriend. We have got loads of exciting things planned for the next couple of months and I really can’t wait.

4. Send post!
Who doesn’t love receiving parcels? Post isn’t as outdated as you might think when it comes to making your partner feel special. Sending care packages and letters is a really cute way to make sure your partner knows they’re loved and you’re not forgetting about them.

5. Skype movie dates.
Watch something on Netflix together whilst skyping/video calling! But remember to mute yourselves if you don’t want the annoying background noise to interrupt the film. It’s basically the same as watching a film in the same room and still counts as “spending time together”, even though you can’t cuddle.

My Experience
My boyfriend and I go to the same university, but after 8 months of practically living together and spending a maximum of 6 hours apart at any one time, we are now 200 miles apart and see each other once a month if we’re lucky. We’ve both started our placement years closer to our own homes, so we are officially separated by over 200 miles for 14 months – which is longer than we’ve even been together. We’re following very different career paths, experiencing very different things, and it’d be easy to think “this is way too much effort” and end the relationship. But there’s one important thing: we love each other, so we’re not going to let distance take its toll. We’re going to make it work.

I’ve seen that absence definitely does make the heart grow fonder. I’ve found that being apart really makes you value the time that you do get to spend together, and appreciate each other more. Use these tips and find out what works for you, and most importantly do not give up on your relationship because of distance!

 

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