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Articles > LGBTQ+ June, 29, 2017

My Eye-Opening LGBT Bar Experience

Sophie Mallett
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Recently, I had my first LGBT bar experience and it was interesting to say the least. Having only just turned 18, I feel as if I’ve experienced in this one club as much as a 25-year-old. It was a truly wild night that I don’t think I’ll ever forget. This article is not argumentative nor is it informative. Instead, it is about an experience – an LGBT experience.

Has anyone else had a similar gay bar experience?

From the very start, the night was intense. The bar I went to was Ku Bar in London, Soho. It’s very easy to find – just follow the trail of pride flags. Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love” was the entrance song for my sister, her girlfriend, her dodgy friend and me. Going into the club, I immediately became an unwitting accomplice to my sister’s dodgy friend who smuggled drugs into the club. Having only just arrived, this certainly threw me a little! I was so distracted by this news that I was far from ready for the dancing or should I say grinding that I was about to encounter. As soon as I was through the doors, I had strangers all over me like an incessant electric whisk looking for unwhipped cream.

Having grabbed a drink at the bar, I headed to the toilets. Now, you may think this is a pretty standard move, but what went on in these toilets was definitely nothing near to standard. It was small and grubby; there was only one cubicle, although this was impossible to gain access to, as it was forever occupied if you know what I mean. It didn’t take us long to give up on the ladies and head to the gents.

This is where we met Monique, a tall dark haired woman in a mini skirt who we got to know very well very quickly. From our brief encounter with Monique, I learned that she is extremely self-confident and unafraid to break the stereotype that women can’t pee standing up. Whilst chatting with her, Monique shamelessly pulled up her skirt and let it go. 5 vodka limes and a raspberry sours flowed into that urinal with skill that can only be equated to Freddie singing Bohemian Rhapsody. Skirt back down, “Hollllarrr bitches, we out!”. And that was Monique.

Toilet trip complete, we went back out and hit the dance floor. we danced in some drunken stupor, which can only be described as swaying and the occasional finger-pointing-head-whip combination. We also had fun watching a straight boy trying to hook up with gay girls. Seriously? There were also these middle-aged women skirting round the edges of the bar weighing up their options of who they might be able to attract.

My sister and her girlfriend were certainly the stars of the show and as they took to the floor, it was clear all eyes were on them. You could see the onlookers seize up when they moved together and that glaze of lust in their eyes. It was like everyone was there to find someone, even if it was just for the night and, if you already had someone, you were envied.

Before I knew it, the clock was bearing down on 3am and it was time to go. Exhausted, I was excited to finally find that uber and wash away my sins, preferably with more gin and an exceptional appreciation for toilets.

Overall it was a great night out with great people in an above average place, despite the wayyyy below average hygiene. Even so, I would say that Ku Bar was not really my scene. It was a little overwhelming considering I usually prefer something a bit quieter. Nevertheless, the people were exceptional. They were unafraid and unwilling to be anything but themselves in the presence of adversity. If I can ever achieve even half of that confidence then I know I will be happier in myself.

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  1. Joseph Fuller

    I think that living in a society where LGBT people are not a majority you dont have so much of a big part in society, like not many things are done specifically for us, so you feel very isolated. You feel as if there is no place for you or your people. But then when you find a place like these bars it is like coming back to your home planet and meeting more of your kind in one big spot doing everything that your kind do. Out in the street you dont find many people of the LGBT but then you go to a bar built for the LGBT and are surprised. It shows that society cares about you and your people in the same way that they build wheelchair ramps for physically disabled people so no one is EVER excluded.