The Awkward Experience Of Losing My Virginity At UniJuly, 19, 2017
(Please note this article contains themes of a sexual nature)
Starting university as a virgin can be seen as a daunting thing, especially when you want to join in with the carefree sex that seems to be happening left, right and centre. But where do you even begin? How do you choose someone to sleep with for the first time?
For me having sex isn’t that big of a deal. I never thought my virginity was something that I needed to cherish, but rather something that I wanted to overcome – and soon. Did I complete this task in fresher’s week? No. Instead it dragged on and I waited till halfway through my first year, while my flatmate was next door with a choice of three different guys to sleep with each week. I was envious; I wanted that, but I was still deciding how to lose my virginity. Would I be judged? Would the guy not even enjoy it seeing as he might not get it in first time?
After much deliberation I finally took action… And it was most likely the worst experience of my life. During a very drunken night out I grabbed a cute guy – well at least I think he was cute. I have my beer goggles to thank for that. As we made our way back to my accommodation, I still hadn’t mentioned that I was a virgin. How are you supposed to just slide that in (pun intended) when you’re taking a guy home? So we continued walking and this guy was all over me. Obviously attention-craving me loved how he wanted me and we finally stumbled through my flat and into my bedroom.
“I lost my virginity, which is what I wanted, but I had to endure the most awkward and slightly painful experience of my life”
It got very heated as we began foreplay and then it happened. I had a penis in my hand. What do I do? Drunkenly I attempted to slide my hand up and down his relatively less-than-average sized penis and I apparently gripped it too tightly. Oops. Loosening my grip, I tried to remember everything my flatmate told me. Use the foreskin to help; use twists as you go; don’t forget to play with the balls. Remembering all of this while drunk is a challenge, but he seemed impressed so I continued.
Slowly I felt my head being pushed downwards. Shit, he wants a blowjob. Am I ready for that? In the spur of the moment I go for it, not knowing what I was really doing, feeling my head being pushed further and further down. All I was thinking was play with the balls. Eventually I came up for air and he started jamming his fingers inside me. Ouch. I just sat there trying to pretend to enjoy it and waited for it to be over.
It was time. One thrust, it didn’t go in, second thrust, still nothing, finally on the fifth thrust the tip went in, then on the sixth thrust it finally happened. I officially lost my virginity. Next thing I knew I was on top of him, of course I had no idea what I was doing, basically jumping up and down. He didn’t look too comfortable so we flipped and just stuck to missionary. It started to become awkward as I felt him going soft in me very quickly before pulling out. Finally, it’s over. I got him to leave, hiding the slightest bit of blood on the sheets before he could see.
Honestly? I lost my virginity, which is what I wanted, but I had to endure the most awkward and slightly painful experience of my life. Still, I feel a lot more comfortable knowing that I can have sex with other people and never feel that awkward ever again. I’m no longer scared to ‘pop my cherry’.
For anyone who’s facing a similar dilemma, there is one thing I must stress: if you want to cherish your virginity, then do just that. I came across many people within my first year at university who had lost their virginity to some meaningless drunk one-night stand and they instantly regretted it. However, if you just want to get it over with, make sure you tell the guy you’re a virgin. Trust me, your experience will be so much better because the guy will go slow at first and not just thrust his penis in aggressively. Being a virgin at university isn’t a big deal, and it’s up to each person to decide what they’re ready for in their own time.
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