If you’re reading this, then you probably have a friend in mind that is currently residing in the friend zone, trying to break out. Right now, if you imagined walking hand in hand, kissing in the empty corners of shopping centres, spooning and talking about your future, your immediate reaction would probably be: ‘No way! They’re just a mate!’
Well that’s what I thought before I started dating and fell in love my best friend of three years.
Before that, the closest I had got to ‘feeling love’ was when I was reading The Notebook. Just like many people I couldn’t imagine falling in love with the person who I had shared every odd, weird, dirty secret with, constantly joked around with and even discussed exes with. However, now I see that this is what makes our relationship that much more special.
So, if you’re stuck on the fence as to whether to take things further with your friend, here are some things to think about to help you decide:
Have you ever put someone in the friend zone?🙉💔
— OpinionPanel (@OpinionPanelEd) November 7, 2017
YOU TRUST THEM
This is probably the most important factor. You can be totally open with them as you’ve known each other for a while and shared many secrets together, secrets you wouldn’t share with anyone else. So if you can already talk with them about anything and everything, you already know that, if in a relationship, they will listen to you and keep your secrets no matter what.
YOU’VE ALREADY SPENT SO MUCH TIME TOGETHER
You’ve shared so many moments, laughter, happiness, fears and sadness. They know better than anyone else what makes you happy or sad, what your favourite music is and your favourite food, what makes you angry, and much more. They always know when you need a big hug and a large tub of ice cream when you’re feeling down. From spending so much time together, you’re not only entirely comfortable around them, but you both know how to read each other like a book. You also know that they’ll always set time aside for you.
YOU LOVE EACH OTHER’S CHARACTERS
If you didn’t love their personality and vice versa, you guys wouldn’t spend so much time together. This should reassure you that, were you to take your relationship to the next level, it wouldn’t be a purely physical thing. You know that, if the two of you make it to 80 together, in a relationship or not, you’ll be perfectly happy sitting on your front porch, playing bridge, enjoying each other’s company.
YOU ACCEPT EACH OTHER
The best part of being best friends is the acceptance and support. Just knowing that, no matter what, they’ve got your back, they’ll fight your corner and they’ll be there at the end of it all. Why? Because they know your pasts, your mistakes and you’ve accepted all of this without judgement. To be honest, this can be hard to find in another person, making your best friend truly special.
Also, they don’t care what you wear, they’ve already seen you in your ratty t-shirt and those sweats that you’ve worn for three days straight. Regardless of what you wear, they always see your personality shining through. Somehow, they always manage to see the best in you, even when you’re at your worst.
YOUR HISTORY IS NOT A SECRET
Being best friends, you’ve most likely been there for each other’s previous relationships. You’ve probably heard about their dating disasters, and likewise, they’ve probably heard about your crazy, annoying exes. This means you both have nothing to hide and don’t have to go through that awkward conversation about exes, but also, having complained about what pisses you off in a relationship, you both understand how to make each other happy.
No matter how strange it may sound, dating your friend is one of the best things you can do in life. They’re a person who likes you, cares for you is always there for you. A person who you can peacefully grow old together with knowing that you’ll always take care of each other.
Above all, they are someone who completes you and makes your life much brighter. Considering all of the points above, they will not only be a kind, understanding partner, they will remain your best friend as well. Someone who you still can share everything with, laugh at everything with and enjoy everything with. Could you ask for anything more?