Youtubers. For better or for worse, it seems they’re here to stay.

I must admit that I fail to see the appeal of the modern-day YouTuber. I have long wondered if there was something wrong with me. Why am I not jumping onto the YouTube bandwagon? Why am I not joining a ‘fam’? Why am I not buying a hoodie with a barely readable logo on it for a week’s wages?

After a while spent analysing myself, it hit me. I am no longer a tween…

This saddens me: gone are the days when I would log on to the family computer and wait 15 minutes for a video of a cat playing “Chopsticks” to load. The YouTube game has been taken to a whole new level and quite frankly I don’t think any of us were mentally, physically or emotionally prepared when it changed.

Back in the good old days of 2008, there were only a couple of big YouTubers, each did their own thing, and nobody really cared what that happened to be. But now, every single YouTuber has to release a song, a diss track, a prank, a challenge… the list goes on, and I’m not exaggerating when I tell you it makes me want to throw my phone off a cliff! In what world do we want to see a beauty blogger trying to ‘roast’ someone via the medium of a diss track… who asked for this?

“If the only thing you can ‘create’ is a video of yourself piling various foods into your mug, it may be time to consider pursuing another career path.”

While we’re at it, will someone please explain to me why every single video seems to have *GONE SEXUAL!* at the end of the title. I mean, for the love of god, is there no integrity left in this world? If the only way you can get people interested in you is by making pseudo-sexual content, you’re on the wrong website my friend!

I even feel conflicted calling these people YouTubers at all; many of them prefer to be addressed as ‘entertainers’ or ‘creators’, all just to hide from the fact that society has not yet come up with a word for people who shove a spoonful of cinnamon in their face, yet still manage to earn three times that of a brain surgeon. In my opinion, if the only thing you can ‘create’ is a video of yourself piling various foods into your mug, it may be time to consider pursuing another career path.

Is being a youtuber a real job? 💻 #youtube #Influencer

— OpinionPanel (@OpinionPanelEd) October 1, 2018

On the whole, my issue is definitely not with all YouTubers, and I will always stand up for people who strive to make high-quality, original content. The same goes for those who have innovative ideas and has the balls to present those ideas to the online community. My issue lies with those who are trying to make maximum cash for minimum effort by taking advantage of their young supporters’ innocent clicks.

For example: when did people telling pre-pubescent strangers that you love them over the Internet stop being creepy? Did I miss something? It’s all good if you want to seem friendly to attract people to your channel, but when I watch your videos I don’t want you to tell me I’m your friend, or even worse, your family – this would make you my only family member who isn’t even aware of my existence. I would challenge any high-flying YouTuber to name me 20 of their subscribers and tell me a bit about them, if you can’t, then you’re not their friend! You’re just some dude on their screen trying to get people to buy pop sockets with your face on them. I have not once tried to sell a pop socket to any of my friends or family because believe it or not… that would be weird!

Despite my negativity, I’d like to end on a positive note and pose some solutions that I really think could improve the wider YouTube platform as a whole:

– If a video has a red arrow or circle in the thumbnail, there had better be something in the video relevant to it, otherwise it has to be deleted immediately.

– Any and all obnoxious fairy lights are to be ripped from the walls of every YouTuber’s mansion.

– (Most importantly of all) Anyone seen releasing a diss track from this day forth should be legally obliged to listen exclusively to that one song from now until the end of time … on repeat.