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Articles > Relationships November, 28, 2018

Types: The Modern Dating Myth

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How many of you have claimed that you were in love with someone when actually you weren’t? I know I’ve done it countless times.

At the time I really believed I was, but whenever I look back on it I just cringe. It’s one of those childhood relationships that you think will last forever until next week comes around and you’re not even speaking to each other anymore.

For years I have told people that I have a type – tall, black hair, blue eyes and, essentially, a cheeky personality. To be honest I loved a ‘lad’. I always used to go for the goofy guy with the cheeky comments, but I have come to realise that I do not have a type. Not at all. And honestly, I don’t believe any one of us do.

So, what then? Well I believe that someone’s ‘type’ shouldn’t be defined by physical appearances, but by emotional connection. Whenever we are asked what our type is, we should answer by describing how we’d like to connect with someone on a deeper level.

Over the years I have dated many typical ‘lads’. It never lasted more than two or three months because they were always wanting more. It made me feel like I wasn’t good enough, or as if I had some sort of expiry date but that wasn’t the truth, and no one should ever have to feel like that.

But this isn’t a sad story of how unlucky I am in love but one about how all of my bad luck led me to find a good guy. Every tear and every heartache has led to me being happier than I have ever been. This is because I stopped believing that I had a ‘type’ and started seeing people for what they really are.

The guy I’m currently with could be said to be some sort of underdog – he was quite reserved and shy. It took us a good five months for him to even kiss me! But what we accomplished in those five months was such a stable foundation for a beautiful relationship. I learned to cherish every moment and I can now honestly say he is also my best friend.

And shouldn’t this be what love is about? Finding that one person who is willing to take their time in getting to know you – all of you, mentally and emotionally as well. It’s very important to take it one day at a time and just live in the moment. Do what makes you happy. To have a successful relationship I believe you must be with someone who enables you to grow and cherishes you.

Love doesn’t have to be difficult

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