One of the most common causes of friction and arguments in relationships is when one partner does not feel like you are prioritising their needs.
It can sometimes get tough to always show your partner the value you place on them, especially when life gets busy and you’re bogged down with work and the stresses of everyday.
But, showing your partner you are prioritising their needs is not something that needs to be done at every waking minute of every day – that would be an impossible feat to try to accomplish. But, there are a number of ways that you can inject that feeling of being valued into your relationship.
Work on Communication Rather than Reaction
Communication is always the best way to avoid a big argument or resentment from building up between partners. It’s best to speak up and communicate when something has happened that you did not necessarily agree with or enjoy, rather than keeping quiet and letting it build. No one can read minds, so it’s unreasonable to expect your partner to know if they’ve done something to upset you unless you communicate and tell them. “Being clear about what your needs and expectations are helps set your relationship up for success and gives your partner exactly what they need to know to prioritise your needs,” states Stanley Bisson, couple relations therapist at AcademicBrits and OriginWritings.
Ditch The Phones
It’s become a habit for so many of us to keep our phones within reach at all times. But, when you’re trying to prioritise your partner, the phone should not be put ahead of them. Make sure, when it’s date night, dinner, conversation time or any other time being spent paying attention to your partner, the phone is kept far away. Put the focus on each other, rather than what is happening in social media or in texts. Having a meaningful, uninterrupted and focused conversation with your partner can truly demonstrate that they are a high priority, worthy of your complete and undivided attention.
Find A Balance With Intimacy
Everyone has different needs, and when you’re in a relationship it’s important that both partners needs are being met. With everything that gets thrown at us in everyday life, from work to kids, it can be easy to push intimacy aside without even realising it. But, it’s important to keep that connection strong and although you won’t necessarily want to ‘schedule’ your intimate moments, you will want to ensure that your partner still feels important and loved. Even if it’s just a foot rub while you’re telling each other about your day, keeping that physical connection strong is important.
Appreciate The Small Things
Recognising and acknowledging the small things your partner does for you can go a long way in showing that you see the effort they are making and truly appreciate it. Sometimes we are able to see these things, but don’t actually voice our appreciation to our partners. Remember, they aren’t mind readers, so if we don’t tell them we appreciate the small gestures they won’t know.
Everyone enjoys different things, but one way to really show your partner that you prioritise them and their needs is to step outside of your comfort zone and into something they love. They will love that you’re taking an interest in something that means so much to them, and will even be more likely to return the gesture and participate in something you’re interested in.
“You might be terrible at whatever activity or hobby they love. It’s not about being good at something; it’s about showing your partner that you’re willing to get totally out of your comfort zone in order to put their needs first,” explains Family Counsellor at PhDKingdom and NextCourseWork, Amy Kasper.
Schedule A Night Out
Having a spontaneous night out can be fun, but there’s something about actually scheduling a date night that creates an entirely different feeling. When you plan a night out ahead of time, you have something to look forward to and countdown towards. And, if your schedules are particularly busy and it’s tough to find time to spend together, planning regular nights out is a great way to show your partner that they are still a priority, no matter how busy life gets.