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Articles > Relationships May, 22, 2019

Dating Your Flatmate Doesn’t Have to Be End Badly

Maggie Sawant
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Yeah, we all know the rule: don’t ever date your flatmates. But what if you really, really want to? And you think they might want to, too? Then here’s what you should do:

1. Wait
It’s your flatmate. You’re going to be living with this person for at least one whole year. Don’t instantly go for it; get to know them and build a friendship first. It could be incredibly awkward if you go all in, but your feelings aren’t reciprocated. Remember: you could be seeing this person every day and having to eat your Cheerios in front of them.

2. Consider This
If you want to dive into a relationship, remember that it’s not going to be ordinary. You will have skipped to the stage most couples are at five years down the line. you’ll be spending a lot of time together. Also, be prepared to hear the tense ‘oos’ and see clenched teeth and head shakes when you tell people you’re living with the person you are currently romantically involved with. But don’t listen to them; it’s your They might think it’s a little intense, but what does that matter?

3. Make Sure You Have Different Interests
Force yourselves to be apart from each other, with different people, however hard it may seem. Get involved in different societies. They will always be there when you come home anyway.

4. Don’t Lose Your Friends
Don’t get sucked into an “I’m dating my flatmate” bubble, where you float above everyone else and become distanced from your close friends. This is extremely dangerous; don’t become interested only in yourselves and your relationship.

5. Don’t Make Your Other Flatmates Uncomfortable
Maybe tone down the PDA? They really don’t want to see it. You don’t want to change the entire dynamic of your flat. You don’t want to make people reluctant to enter the kitchen for fear of seeing you two all over each other.

6. Prepare For Some Petty Arguments
You’re dating your flatmate so you’re living with each other. You’re not going to agree with everything the other person does, whether that’s them coming out of the bathroom before they’re dry and wetting the bedroom floor, or how they do the washing up. But never let these petty arguments develop into something more. Communication is key: you must be open, honest and always share how you feel.

7. Enjoy Yourselves
Think about how lucky you are. It’s a dream to live with your partner. If you are able to enjoy the year together, spending so much time with each other, jumping so far ahead in the relationship, that is definitely saying something about the security and health of your future.

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  1. Tanya

    I started seeing my housemate in Feb 2012. We had one date and hit it off and that night I slept in his room. We were together in the same shared house with different housemates for around 6 years. We never made anyone feel uncomfortable as we don’t display pda when it’s not appropriate and never made it into an us and them scenario. Now in 2019 we have a mortgage and are trying for a baby.

    If you want to be with your housemate then go for it. You can always move out if you break up. You won’t be stuck with them – you might just have to pay more for ending your tenancy early and it’s worth it if it’s going to leave you in an uncomfortable situation.

  2. Jess Scott

    Dating my flat mate I think will end fine for me, 1 because we were friends first, 2 we are in the same degree, and just personally we arent prone to messy breakups

  3. kemal

    there is a logical mistake in the first paragraph which made all article wrong . that mistake is just because you going to stay same place with this person does not mean you are going to live with this person