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Articles > Mental Health February, 20, 2020

The Realities of Living with an Invisible Disability

Shan Okasili
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I’m sure you’ve been there before. The bus is so packed that you half expect it to burst like a balloon and spill its denizens out into the main road. Any passengers with the unfortunate duty of standing find themselves at the mercy of gravity as they swing about in what feels like a claustrophobic theme park ride without the fun.

Meanwhile a young, healthy-looking person occupies a disabled seat, seemingly content to block out the surrounding mayhem with a nice pair of headphones.

That person would be me. My name is Shan, I’m your average 20-something uni student, and I suffer from a life-altering disability.

The reason I appear so out of place in a disabled seat is down to the fact that my disability is considered to be invisible. The concept of an “invisible disability” refers to a disability that is not clear from your outward appearance. This can range from auditory and visual impairments to conditions like diabetes and chronic fatigue syndrome to mental illnesses.

I won’t go into too many specifics but my disability stems from mitochondrial disease, which is a blanket term for any genetic disorder that, naturally, affects mitochondria. My affliction greatly reduces my stamina and inhibits me to the point that I can perform basic tasks, but not for very long and with almost no intensity.

For example, I’ve been known in the past to find myself in pain after washing a particularly long set of dishes. So, it’s convenient for avoiding chores, but inconvenient for almost everything else.

Feeling Unworthy

When I said earlier that “That person would be me” in regards to the bus, what I really meant was “That person should be me.” I hate to admit it, but I’m often too anxious to sit in the disabled seat on a bus. Even on days I could really use it, I instead find myself ascending the stairs of a double decker out of sheer awkwardness, practically hearing the energy drain from me with each step.

Public transport as a whole is a nightmare when it wants to be between the awkward looks when I plant myself in a disabled seat on a bus or the occasional time I’ve been outright called lazy by a taxi driver wondering why I booked them and spent £5 on a 5 minute walk.

Another reality of an invisible disability is the difficulty I often have in conveying it as a serious condition. On my best days, my condition has only really prevented me from doing PE. But on my worst days my condition has led to multiple organ failure. I have family and friends that are fantastic in taking my condition into consideration, but I often find it hard to stress the full effect of my disability. Invisible disabilities as a whole (and I can imagine especially mental illnesses) can often be regarded as not serious, or in the worst cases, completely non-existent.

I recognise these problems aren’t (in most cases) caused by people being malicious, but by a lack of focus in the public consciousness. The best way to amend this issue is simply by bringing it to light.

Supporting Others

Do you, or does someone close to you have an invisible disability? Disabilities and the experiences that come with them vary greatly from person to person. I’m always interested in hearing about other people’s stories if you wanted to share in the comments! Don’t worry if you’d rather not make it public; even just talking with or asking your family, friends, dog or whoever is willing to listen could help others/yourself understand it more. You can learn more about what some conditions are considered an invisible disability here.

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