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Articles > Relationships April, 19, 2022

A guide to long distance relationships at university

Helena Dembe
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Why does love have such complexity? At this point, I should just give up.
After years and years of being dumped by multiple guys, having crushes, ending up dating my best friends and boys coming to talk just to help them shoot their shot, I got to experience what love is — something that still feels surreal for me — in the best and worst way.

A long distance relationship is about being separated from your significant partner. No dates, no kisses, no Netflix and chill, just their face through a screen: everything a couple would prefer to avoid.
Of course, it always takes time, trust, and lots of communication, just like physical love. But being separated and not being able to touch physically can get you nostalgic. For my part, I have never met him in person (I know what you’re thinking, I know)

A 2018 survey of long distance couples found that 27% had never lived near each other. About 50% of couples in the survey had met each other online. Conclusion: if you relate to this, you are not alone.

Texts are our only way of communication (if it wasn’t for the internet, we wouldn’t be here today…) He contributes to my happiness and so do I. Living apart of your partner makes you daydream like crazy because you wish he was here, all the time.

Sometimes, distance can be the reason for a breakup before the distance even happens! High-school lovers wondering “How am I able to see you after?” “Is it going to be the same?”… No, it won’t. But it takes trust and serious communication to see if you are both able to handle this in the best way, without fighting or being jealous!

During uni days, you might be afraid to lose the communication you used to have with them, and it’s not a bad thing! Because how are going to dedicate time to your partner when you need to study so much? You are asking yourself the right questions. Remember to do what is best for both of you.

If you’d like some advice from me, here are five tips on how to maintain your long distance relationship during university with your partner!

1. Try to set up a time for yourself!

It’s important to set up a time for concentrating on yourself first! If you and your partners have a large time difference, it may be easy to get your me-time but if you don’t, try to let them know that at this time, you’ll be busy or free and give each other space to connect with other things.

2. Share your worries (and even mundane details)

The unknown is hard. You will have to adapt to your university and it might be difficult sometimes! Feel open to share whenever you feel happy and/or sad. There will always be ups and downs and it’s important to let your partner know, and they will feel more part of your everyday!

3. Send each other letters/presents

I love sending letters and little presents to my boyfriend! I always get the most excited when it comes to writing them! We usually FaceTime when we open letters. That is a thing that you could as well to show him your love in a different way. Even if gift giving isn’t a big thing for either of you, it’s more about the gesture.

4. If you’re able to, try to call occasionally

Your partner will be the happiest to see you and hear your beautiful voice! They want your happiness and it’s better to share by video call! Try to appreciate every seconds and talk about your uni days, life recently, etc. If they are not calling, don’t be too offended. Uni is a really busy time and they have a lot on, they aren’t neglecting you! Just communicate 🙂

5. Talk it out, discover your campus, and make friends

In the same way of trying to set up a time for yourself, go take a walk on your campus and find many ways to blossom! Try to make friends from everywhere or just go listen to music, draw, write… anything you need to think about something else other than your partner. Feeling good on your campus and by yourself will make you feel less stressed about your routine and help you connect to yourself. It’s also important to make trustworthy friends to share your thoughts with other people.

These are just suggestions, I’m not a pro of long distance relationships either! Share your thoughts in the comments section below!
I send you much love and support for your relationship. To you reading this, stay strong because you and your partner will be reunited sooner than you think.

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